My girlfriend has put out a stunningly beautiful Christmas card – she and her husband, daughter and son all perched on a big rock – in front of a creek – that’s in front of a bridge – in a beautiful park. The gorgeous greenery of the trees juxtaposed with the red caption “2013.”
The only problem is … it’s on Facebook. Not in my mailbox, not in my hand, and certainly not on my mantel with all the other Christmas cards. Just hanging out there on my News Feed for all 646 of her friends to see.
Now, I like to get my card out of my mailbox, sit on my sofa next to my tree in front of my fire and open it, and study it, and carefully read the greeting.
But I’m stuck at my desk. And it just popped up. I haven’t even seen it yet, but over 100 people already “like” it. There are 24 comments, all glowing reviews, and a special thanks to the photographer. It’s like the dang thing just won an Emmy.
I see she has tagged her husband in the post. So I guess that makes it truly from the both of them. She didn’t tag her children, but maybe she’ll let them log on to her account so they can see what they look like.
I try to enjoy it. But on my News Feed just above it is a Jon Stewart “War On Christmas” video – and below it, there’s a picture of a little red and green needlepoint pillow that says, “It doesn’t matter if you’ve been naughty or nice, that creepy Elf on the Shelf is going to kill you one night while you’re sleeping.”
What’s next? If Facebook ate the Christmas card, what’s going to happen to that Christmas letter families send out detailing all their accomplishments? Guess that’ll start getting tweeted out. Which will actually be awesome because you’re only allowed 140 characters. Those bold and braggy letters full of bull will thankfully be reduced to bitty bullet points.
I feel called to action, I mean it is Facebook. So I decide to post this comment: “Can I borrow this to use as my card?” Obviously, that’s a joke. Like I really need to ask her, I can just “share” it and it’ll post to my timeline.
But I don’t need it. I’ve got a photo of me with my parents and sisters at the Eagles concert. I’m just gonna post that with the caption: “Happy Holidays, from our concert venue to yours.” My cards will be done in 11 seconds, leaving plenty of time to tweet, “Greetings! My eldest plays basketball, my youngest plays soccer, nobody won any awards or anything but we got a new (our old cat back) pet.”
Whew. 140 characters exactly. Hmm – I “like” this.