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In My Opinion


Here are the 20 five-word phrases sure to terrify any man

By Mark Washburn
Mark Washburn
Mark Washburn writes television and radio commentary for The Charlotte Observer.

Because so many of you fail to keep up with breaking medical news during the holidays, I will now share the latest research on the five-word phrases that instill instant paralysis in Men of the Carolinas.

•  Your son’s teacher just called.

•  Did you keep the receipt?

•  Driver’s license and registration, please.

•  Your dog just threw up.


•  Need to take your mulligan?

•  Dude. Your spare’s flat, too.

•  They want you in HR.

•  I got us ballet tickets.

•  Something’s wrong with the toilet.

•  I canceled the sports tier.

•  Next, we’ll check your prostate.

•  All overhead bins are full.

•  I bought a warm nightgown.

•  We’ve quit doing beer specials.

•  Does our kitchen seem outdated?

•  “Grey’s Anatomy” marathon this weekend!

•  Your week to change diapers.

•  We’re doing vegan this Thanksgiving.

•  Honey, we need to talk.

Washburn: 704-358-5007
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