Birthday Girl | MomsCharlotte.com

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I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

Birthday Girl

By Carolina Sonshine on 01/15/14 09:50
Charlotte Observer

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When I was nearly four, I begged to change my birth date to a different one; I wanted to make it the same as my grandfather’s in March.  I was inconsolable when Momma told me it wasn’t possible…  Later I decided it should be the same as my grandmother’s in January, believing this would fly since her birthday happened to be a mere two days before mine.  Needless to say, I was denied again.  It was one of the first occasions when I learned the valuable life lesson: you can’t always get what you want.

 

 

 

This week I turned a year older…or technically started the next year of my life.  It’s amazing how quickly the days keep slipping past, accelerating as they go while I dance as fast as I can, trying to catch up…  My beloved Grandma Bodie would have been 90 and for the next fifty-one weeks, I will be exactly half of her would-be age…at least in terms of actual years. 

 

 

 

I’ve missed her a lot lately; in fact, I’ve spent a good bit of time thinking about what her life was like compared to mine at this age…

 

 

 

Grandma was married, the mother of five and grandmother of four (I was #4).  Her youngest son was a senior in high school; the oldest son was off at a special school for the blind in Arkansas, learning how to live independently.  Two of her three daughters were living at home again with their infant children; their husbands were stationed overseas serving in the U.S. Army.  Grandma worked as a waitress in a local restaurant; Grandpa was a firefighter and painted houses on his days off…

 

 

 

I’m married, the mother of three and thankfully, not yet a grandmother.  One child lives at home, one is out on her own and one is at play in the fields of the Lord.  I spend most of my time either assisting John with his real estate work or volunteering through our nonprofit to share Brian’s Story with as many teens and parents as possible…

 

 

 

I wonder if Grandma ever grew tired of having so many people underfoot?  Or felt overwhelmed by sharing her two-bedroom, one-bath home with so many adults?  I seriously doubt it, given the tenacity with which she clung to life as she neared the end of her days… She was never happier than when she was surrounded by her family: children, grandchildren, siblings, great-grandchildren; any kin was welcomed with open arms…

 

 

 

There was a time when I looked forward to having an empty nest…  Like many of today’s families, John and I were in a hurry to move things along and get to the place in-between raising kids and taking care of our parents.  Except now I’ve come to believe there really isn’t a middle place; if there is, I don’t want any part of it.

 

 

 

I couldn’t appropriate Grandma’s birth date for my own, but we have something of far greater value in common: the love of our family…that and realizing what a blessing it is to have one to love…

 

 

 

“Your only treasures are those which you carry in your heart.”-Demophilus

 

 

 

Tammy will update her blog twice weekly…

 

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