Ryan Seacrest is designing by numbers | MomsCharlotte.com
TRACY LEE CURTIS


Tracy Lee Curtis is a humorist, writer and speaker. She writes family humor for the Charlotte Observer. Her column appears each Sunday.
• Email Tracy Lee Curtis
• Tracy Lee Curtis on Facebook
• On Twitter: @TracyLeeCurtis1
• Website

Ryan Seacrest is designing by numbers

03/07/14 07:38

Ryan Seacrest is starting a new clothing line. And it includes a color-matching system to help men match their pieces. Pants, shirts and ties are labeled with the number of the color group they match. With this “Style Made Smart” system, all you have to do is match by number, grab and go.

I think we already have this. It’s called Garanimals. And it’s a lot more fun and colorful than matching boring numbers, because you get to match animal characters. Although I guess it’d be weird for a man to match two zebras playing a pink guitar right before a big board meeting.

But I would think an “American Idol” tie-in would be cool. Instead of matching numbers, why not match judges? All the Simons have to match. All the J-Los have to match. I would replace half the Keith Urbans with my own picture so that all the Keith Urbans would have to match Tracy Curtis.

Or Ryan could tie in his radio show and use famous singers. The Jay-Z tags go with the Beyonces. The Blake Sheltons go with the Miranda Lamberts, and the John Mayers go with the Katy Perrys. Oh, wait, they broke up. The Chris Browns go with the Rihannas. Oops, they’re done too.

OK, maybe Ryan should suggest matches on the air – pair a John Mayer with a Rihanna, see how well they go together. Maybe coordinate a Miley Cyrus with a Justin Beiber – and hope we don’t need the fashion police.

Or he could match iconic music couples like Sonny and Cher, James Taylor and Carly Simon, Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. Where every outfit really makes you look like a rock star.

Now I’m onto something – instead of each tag indicating a color family, each tag indicates a star style. So you could match the Sheryl Crow pants with the Sheryl Crow blouse and the Sheryl Crow belt to look like … Sheryl Crow. My closet would have some Jackie Kennedy, Kate Hudson, some casual Jennifer Aniston, and some hip Victoria Beckham.

Then you could dress your significant other, too – “Honey, go put on some Sting, we’re late for dinner.” Or you could put on your Victoria Beckham and tell him to put on his David Beckham, and then you match all the way around. And then the whole “Who are you wearing?” becomes a legitimate question.

My color-matching system is I buy all black, brown, gray, white and cream, so no matter what I put on it all goes together. Some days I’m all black and white. Other days, sepia tone. I’m like your favorite old movie that you see over and over again.

But if I had to put a label on all this black, white and gray, I’d have to say I’m wearing Diane Keaton. Or Glenn Close.

Or Simon Cowell.

The Charlotte Observer welcomes your comments on news of the day. The more voices engaged in conversation, the better for us all, but do keep it civil. Please refrain from profanity, obscenity, spam, name-calling or attacking others for their views.

Have a news tip? You can send it to a local news editor; email local@charlotteobserver.com to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Charlotte Observer.

  Read more