So You're Going to be a Bridesmaid
By Ashleigh White
Posted: Friday, Apr. 04, 2014
Ashleigh has been living in Charlotte since 2008 with her oversized yellow lab. She is a communications professional, grad student, runner, and lover of all things wedding! After attending 13 weddings in three years, it's now Ashleigh's turn to be at the altar. Join her as she blogs about her adventures in step-by-step wedding planning and tips for other brides-to-be!
So your best friend of 15 years just asked you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and you couldnt be more excited, right? You should be excited! Its an honor. But its also a financial commitment and a time commitment that youll have to make.
If there are only five things that you have to do as a bridesmaid, they are:
1. Communicate and be responsive: this goes for conversations with the bride, maid of honor, or any other bridesmaids and also RSVPing to any showers/events to which you are invited. Youre not expected to attend everything, and youre not expected to be on call but not communicating will stress out the bride, and likely the other bridesmaids, too.
2. Buy the dress and the shoes in a timely manner: You might hate them, and if were being honest, youll probably never wear them again, but it is what she wants, and its her day and youre doing this FOR her. Youll have your turn (if you havent already) and youll want that same courtesy.
3. Reserve the wedding weekend well in advance and be on time: The bride-to-be doesnt want to hear that you cant get off work for the rehearsal, or have to be stressed on the day-of the wedding about your whereabouts. Its one weekend and if a timeline has been laid out for you you should adhere to it as closely as possible.
4. Throw a bridal shower for the bride: this is traditional that bridesmaids throw a shower for the brides (and the bride/brides mother does a bridal luncheon during the wedding weekend). If you cant be there for the shower, at least chip in and offer to help with planning/invites or whatever you can in advance.
5. Be present: The bride and groom dont have time to dote on everyone at the wedding but trust me, they are thankful that youre there and for how much time/money/effort you put into their big day. Smiling in pictures, leading folks onto the dance floor, and being present are very much appreciated. Disappearing into the bathroom during pictures, talking/texting on your phone or leaving extremely early are rude and inconsiderate.
Youll likely be invited to showers, the bachelorette party and perhaps even a day-after-the-wedding event. Time is definitely what is most needed from the wedding party, but showers and parties get expensive. It is okay to bow out politely from these events if you dont have the funds (or time) but making sure to let the rest of the group or the bride know is essential. Many of these things are planned well in advance so last minute changes can cause costs to inflate for the others. Also, gifts? You might get invited to five or more showers/parties, but gifts arent necessary at all of them. An engagement gift and a wedding gift are sufficient, unless youre able and dying to shower the couple with gifts.
Whats your best tip for bridesmaids? Or tips for brides on how to not be demanding of their wedding party?
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