Pack and Purge... | MomsCharlotte.com

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I am a mother of three, sharing my journey of hope and survival following the loss of our son...

Pack and Purge...

By Carolina Sonshine on 06/24/14 21:55
Charlotte Observer
  • B's mostly empty room T GARLOCK

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When we relocated to this house, we turned it into a family adventure…  We packed up and hauled our things across the street and a mile down the road to keep Brian and Grace in the same high school zone.  We never intended to stay; it was meant to be a temporary home while our children finished school.  You know what they say about the best laid plans…things don’t always work out quite the way you imagine…

 

 

 

In March I finally told John I believed the time had come to sell this place...

 

 

 

Not that my heart has been in it…  Nevertheless, for five years, I’ve trusted the inner voice telling me when the time is right…  That time has arrived…

 

 

 

On May 1st, John put a sign in the front yard.  On May 2nd, we received the phone call...  On May 5th, we showed them the house…  Lord willing, that young family will be raising their children here in the near future and John and I will begin our next adventure…

 

 

 

For the last few weeks, I have been packing and purging like a woman possessed…  I guess in a way, I am…  I have been diligently trying to make mindful, well-reasoned decisions about what to do with all of this ‘stuff’ we’ve accumulated over decades.  My goal has been to recycle, donate and find a new home for as many of our extra things as possible.  I also caught up on record keeping, shredding mountains of old documents I’ve kept for far too long.  With research, time and persistence, it can be done…

 

 

 

Brian’s belongings have been a different story...  As expected, it has been far more difficult with his things than others; I suppose it’s because he’s not here to help me with the process.  I don’t want to throw perfectly useful things in the trash, nor do I want to randomly dump them at a resale store. Still, what sense does it make to pack up clothes/shoes/hats he’ll never wear again and pay to have them stored somewhere while we figure out where we’re going to live?

 

 

 

In the bright warm light of the afternoon sun, I cannot deny the brutal truth-he’s gone and there’s nothing we can do to change that simple fact.  No matter how many of his things I save or share, regardless of how much I wish it were different, no matter how long I’ve waited to face down the inevitable, this is reality…

 

 

 

Despite my turmoil, I’ve made progress.  A friend offered to make quilts for the girls and John from his old t-shirts…  I gave Brian’s friend his hat covered in autographs from a Wachovia (now Wells Fargo) golf tournament…  His bedroom furniture went to my dad…  Brian’s first grade teacher now carries a well-used, slightly dirty Titleist golf ball from his golf bag…  Gracie took over his sock collection…  Eventually, I’ll muddle my way through it all, hopefully finding peace with the decisions I’ve made…

 

 

 

We are continuing to give away pink & black silicone bracelets.  To request one or many, please email the quantity desired and your mailing address to rememberbrian@mindspring.com. 

 

 

 

Tammy will update her blog weekly…

 

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