Guiding your family through divorce: spousal support |

Guiding your family through divorce: spousal support

20070831 Stepparent
Hoffer - MCT

“If the Shoe Fits…” Spousal Support – Not Just for Women

Written by Penelope Hefner, attorney, Sodoma Law, P.C.

Many of us know of at least one couple where the husband cares for the home and children while his wife, with the more lucrative career, goes to work. Rather than the social stigma that was associated with such an arrangement in the past, husbands are more often being praised for supporting their partner’s ambitions and careers.

Where there is an increase in financially dependent husbands, there is an increase in men seeking spousal support. However, these men are often more willing to dismiss their requests in divorce negotiations than are women.

Why are men more quickly to waive this claim than women? These men may choose to give up spousal support if other outcomes are better for their long-term financial security.

For instance, they may want a larger piece of the property distribution upfront that they can invest, rather than receiving monthly support checks. They may not be in a position to pay child support, and will waive spousal support in exchange. Finally, despite the lifting of social taboos, some may simply not be able to accept financial dependence on their ex-wives.

This is in contrast to women, who are generally unwilling to forgo some level of support if they have filed for it.

Regardless of whether they pursue the claim to the point of receiving an alimony award or simply assert it as a point of negotiation, the road to gender equality is paved with legal rights afforded to men and women, no matter the gender. If a stay-at-home mother, who put her successful career on hold to care for the home and children while allowing the husband’s career to sky rocket, is entitled to support, why should the same not be said for a stay-at-home father in the same position?

The statutory requirements are likely the same for both genders and if the proverbial shoe fits, it seems more and more men are willing to wear it.

Founded in 2008 by Nicole H. Sodoma, Sodoma Law is a Family Law practice based in Charlotte, NC. specializing in the areas of separation divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, equitable distribution, prenuptial and post nuptial agreements, surrogacy, and parenting plans for non-traditional families. Sodoma Law also focuses on estate planning, business law and bankruptcy. Find more information at

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