Dad-dee, tell me a story.
OK. Once upon a Friday night, a new pro basketball player named P.J. Hairston went to the Fresh Market to buy fruit.
No, Dad-dee. Tell a better story. New pro players do not go to Fresh Market on Friday nights to buy fruit.
I know, but thats how this story goes. So he goes to the Fresh Market in Chapel Hill on Friday night to buy fruit, and he runs into Josh Gordon of the Cleveland Browns.
Dad-dee, your story is too crazy already. Tell a real story.
Just wait. So they meet and get to talking, then they walk outside and somehow Gordon sees Hairstons car. Gordon suggests they trade cars for awhile.
No, Dad-dee. Tell a story about grown-ups.
These are grown-ups. So Gordon takes P.J.s Cadillac Escalade and P.J. takes Gordons Mercedes.
What does P.J. stand for?
Dad-dee, if a man you just met at Fresh Market wanted to trade his shiny new Mercedes for your old Dodge minivan full of child booster seats and Animal Cracker crumbs, would you do it?
Of course not, but P.J. likes to be generous, so he did it. And they drove off in each others cars.
See, Dad-dee, this is why your story is no good, because even I know something bad is going to happen with the cars, and Im only 5.
Yeah, well, youre right.
Gordon gets arrested in the Mercedes a few hours later and is charged with drunken driving. And the guy who bails him out of jail is a party promoter named Fats, who just happens to be the same guy who improperly got P.J. a car back when he played for Carolina. But, see, P.J. didnt know anything about Fats and Gordon being together.
Dad-dee, your story is just nonsense. And whats a party promoter, anyway?
Nobody really knows. I think its like a personal shopper of some sort.
OK, Dad-dee, lets try it again. Tell me a story, and make it realistic. If the people are going to do odd things, you need to throw in some magicians or wizards. That way it would at least be believable.
The Charlotte Observer welcomes your comments on news of the day. The more voices engaged in conversation, the better for us all, but do keep it civil. Please refrain from profanity, obscenity, spam, name-calling or attacking others for their views.
Have a news tip? You can send it to a local news editor; email email@example.com to send us your tip - or - consider joining the Public Insight Network and become a source for The Charlotte Observer.Read moreRead less