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In My Opinion

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Here are 20 things you never hear said in Charlotte

By Mark Washburn
Correspondent
Mark Washburn
Mark Washburn writes television and radio commentary for The Charlotte Observer.

I’ve been listening hard and can tell you with authority that I never hear the following phrases uttered in Charlotte.

• They’re doing such a good job making the airport hassle-free.

• I never knew before what a great team the Knights were.

• Slapping this toll on I-77 to Lake Norman is such a brilliant idea, we should do it to the highways I drive on.

• I’ll never get tired of hearing the kids sing that song from “Frozen.”

• After checking out those snazzy escalators, I can see why we needed to give $87 million to the Panthers.

• Exit 36 in Mooresville always reminds me of Paris.

• Oh, no! We’ve lost another tire factory to rural South Carolina.

• This latest kerfuffle is just the thing that was needed to mature P.J. Hairston.

• It doesn’t astonish me at all how DUI checkpoints snare only a handful of drunks, but dozens of unlicensed drivers.

• I just love my cable company.

• Ever notice how the people demonstrating outside Duke Energy headquarters look absolutely normal?

• I wish I were on the Union County school board.

• Even though there’s no money to widen our roads, I’m glad N.C. 12 gets rebuilt on the Outer Banks after every storm.

• Running express buses to the airport from the malls, but not letting you leave your car there, was a fantastic idea.

• Could’ve happened to anybody. Let Chiquita keep the incentives.

• What’s that long line outside the NASCAR museum?

• I was shocked when I heard that the movie studio at Eastland Mall fell through.

• I knew all along nobody would come to uptown for baseball.

• It’s so cute when the light turns green and the driver in front of you doesn’t notice because he’s got his nose in his phone.

• Although our state image has suffered lately, electing Clay Aiken to Congress should turn that around.

Washburn: 704-358-5007. mwashburn@charlotteobserver.com.
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