Marshal and I just checked off five months of wedded bliss this past weekend. It seems like time is already flying by, and before we know it, we will be into our fifth year of marriage instead of our fifth month. This weekend, my sister will be getting married and will be entering into this next phase of her life as well. Helping her plan and work through the details of her big day has given me the opportunity to reflect on all the planning I did last year.

When you’re in “wedding planning mode,” it seems like there is nothing else in the world that could possibly be as important as this. Picking a florist rivals choosing where you will get your college education. Hiring a photographer feels more like house-hunting. And the magnitude of where to have your reception seems as monumental as having to name your first born. Realistically, these choices are not a big deal, but when you’re in it, they sure feel like it.

I can see how the term “Bridezilla” originated. When you’re a bride-to-be, your wedding becomes the biggest, most overwhelming event in your life. It doesn’t help that from a ripe young age we are inundated with wedding jargon, hearing things like, “Your wedding day is the biggest day of your life. You want it to be perfect,” or “This is every girl’s dream.” It’s no wonder that once we have that bling on our finger, we shift into high gear on our life’s purpose. Your wedding is on your mind at all times, and the pressure that comes with it (whether it’s pressure you put on yourself, or pressure put on you by others) can be suffocating.

So when it came time for my sister to start planning her own wedding, my best advice to her was to plan this for herself and her fiancé. Brides tend to feel a lot of pressure to plan their event to suit the needs or desires of their guests, and I can tell you right now, this will not make you happy. You need to plan the most important day of your life for you.

When you start to feel stressed and overwhelmed, take a step back and think about what matters to you most. Chances are, the things you’re stressing about aren’t as big as you originally thought. And any time you start to feel that inner psycho trying to emerge, just picture your soon-to-be husband waiting for you at the altar. Remember why you’re doing all of this in the first place – after all is said and done, you will be glad you did.

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