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The problem is that, like nail-biting, hair-pulling can quickly become a habit.

If you want this to stop, and you certainly should, then you need to make an impression on your daughter.

What to do when a toddler bangs his head during a tantrum.

This is a process that some kids “get” more quickly than others. Eventually, children do get it.

Q: We are very concerned about our 8-year-old grandson’s lying. He always pleads innocence and wonders plaintively why no one ever believes him. When someone confronts him with some misdeed they saw him do (example: poking holes in the back door screen), he merely shrugs his shoulders and grins. His parents have punished him repeatedly by taking away screen privileges, but to no avail. They’ve also told him the story of the boy who cried wolf to explain why no one believes him. This has been going on since he was a small child. We are all concerned about what is looming down the road.

Q: We began toilet training our daughter when she was 21 months old. Within 10 days, she was consistently using the toilet for urinating. The problem is that she’s now 23 months old and has had only four successful BMs on the toilet. She has a BM when she’s still in bed in the morning or sometime during her nap. When I discover her accident, I simply remind her she needs to go on the toilet. I read your toilet-training book and know about the use of a gate. Do you think I should go in that direction?

Adults should not take children who say things like “I can’t,” “It’s too hard,” and “I need help” at their word. They should, more often than not, gently refuse to help.

“How can my spouse and I get on the same page where the kids are concerned?” is the most difficult question parents ask me and also the most important. It is the most difficult because each of the parents in question thinks the problem lies with the other, and as long as they cling to that security blanket, the problem cannot be solved. It is the most important question because the strength of a family, and therefore the well-being of its children, depends fundamentally on the parents being in a state of unity.

Q: For the first five years of her life, it was just me and my now 13-year-old daughter. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. I wasn’t consistent; I didn’t hold her accountable; I was an enabler. Her behavior toward me became increasingly disrespectful. My second husband tried to open my eyes, but I was in complete denial. Finally, in her preteen years, I started to hold her accountable and tried my best to be more consistent. Now, when she disrespects me I take privileges away, assign her extra chores and send her to her room for the rest of the day. That seems to work, but only for a few days. Then it’s back to square one.

Four-year-old boy acts defiant at preschool but not at home.

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John Rosemond
John Rosemond, an N.C. author, writes on traditional parenting.
CharlotteObserver.com