Andrea Bonior

Q: My office mate is the loudest, grossest eater you’ve ever heard of. And she eats constantly, all day. I have tried hinting things like, “Oh, is it time for lunch already?” But she just keeps on eating.

Q: I’m dating a guy devoted to his twin 5-year-olds. I think that bodes well, since I want to start a family with him someday. But I’m wondering if he’ll ever put me first. I know that sounds selfish, but he’ll drop everything if his ex calls about his children. He often can’t confirm plans because of custody-schedule issues. I’m beginning to feel like I’ll always be low on the totem pole compared to his kids. Am I being irrational?

Q: How can I stop being so judgmental about some friends of mine who I think are very spoiled? They are almost 27 years old, but they still live like college students, getting a lot of financial support from their parents. (One’s just bought them a nice condo.)

Q: We’d always talked about my mother-in-law moving to the area when she retires. I would welcome that. But now my wife says she wants her to live with us for the rest of her life. My wife says it doesn’t make financial sense for her to get her own place, that she can help us more with the kids that way, and that we owe it to her. But she’s healthy and could live another 30 years! And our house is very small. I’m floored by this.

Q: Ms. X and I were good work friends – ate lunch together and once in a while had coffee or went to a museum. She shared a lot about her life with me, but I never did. There’s something about her that I didn’t like, so after she left the job, I felt relief.

Q: No one is allowed to say anything negative, ever, about my husband’s cooking. He’s such a perfectionist and prides himself on doing everything just right, and once it’s up to his standards, he gets deeply annoyed if anyone mentions anything even minor about it. It has gotten really embarrassing. Help!

Q: Is there any advice you can give a financially struggling parent whose daughter was accepted to a top university but won’t be able to foot the $50,000-a-year tuition bill? If I could put my kidney on eBay for a good price to cover her tuition, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Q: Do you think it’s fair to have cigarette smoking as a deal-breaker in a relationship? I have given my boyfriend ultimatum after ultimatum, and he just won’t quit. He was supposedly quitting when we first started dating, and I made it totally clear to him that I would not date a smoker. Six months in, and no progress.

Q: I totally fell for a guy six months ago who I now believe is taking advantage of me financially. My heart is broken and I know that our relationship is not for the long haul. I want to fight to get some of my money back (I gave him “loans” for car repairs, paid some of his utilities and paid off some of his credit-card debt when his money was tight). My friends say just to cut my losses and drop it, that it will only get messier.

Q: My husband makes time for what he wants to do: happy hours after work, golfing on the weekends, etc. He assumes I will pick up the slack with child care. If I ever want to go to brunch with friends or go shopping, however, he acts as though he’s burdened. I’m very frustrated that everything falls on me and that I’m the one who misses getting any personal time.