Save Money in this Sunday's paper

Figure out what you want, then be strong enough to do it.

Objective vs. emotional puts this couple at odds.

Q: I am a young adult with a passion, but I can’t make a living out of it. (I tried to find a job related to it for five years.) But what am I if I can’t do what I love? I can’t see myself retiring after 50 years and picking up doing what I haven’t done for all that time. What can I do? I feel like a ball adrift in the ocean.

Q: My good friend is asking people to “sponsor” her international travel for the next few months. Is she doing charity work? No. Is she part of some organization? No. She is doing it to “grow and explore” and even has a website set up for donations about it. I have chosen not to donate, but she keeps bringing it up. Do I say anything to her?

A bunch of friends just got engaged and now my boyfriend is thinking about marriage. I like being with him, but I’m nowhere near ready.

Q: I’m tired of my situation – broke and with a man who only searches out easy jobs, never anything challenging or that would bring in more money. We’re having a baby, and I feel alone. All he does is smoke weed and “hang out.”

Q: My boyfriend of seven months is far too jealous. No matter what I do or say, he finds a way to become suspicious. He denies that an unresolved problem from his past is making him behave this way, but I’ve never given him a reason to question my loyalty. He’s a great guy, and his pros outweigh his cons, but how much of this is normal? I think I’m very patient with him, but I’m reaching my limit.

Q: My mother has a fear of bugs so intense that I swear she has serious mental problems. She is completely out of control – and has been for as long as I can remember. How can I get her to see that it is not normal to yell and scream just because there is a beetle or spider near her?

Q: My boyfriend is gaining a high profile because of his blog. I admire his work, but I think he’s starting to take himself too seriously. I also think this is making him belittle my work in small ways. We both write in our day jobs, and we used to offer each other advice and feedback. But I don’t think I want his advice anymore because it’s edged with a tone of superiority.

Q: My husband is a wonderful stay-at-home dad. When he first began being at home, he had been laid off and was doing some consulting to bring in extra cash. That has stopped, and I miss the wiggle room that income created. I don’t want to take away from the job he does. I know it’s hard. But I wish he would take on some projects again. How can I bring this up sensitively?

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Andrea Bonior
Andrea Bonior (that's BONN-yer!) is a licensed clinical psychologist, professor, and writer. She completed her M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology focusing on individual and group psychotherapy for young adults and specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders and depression.