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HUNTERSVILLE
Andrew Tolman had a choice when his dad left the family after a drug arrest nearly three years ago.
Tolman, 18, who graduates on Saturday from Hopewell High, could have let his grades slip and gotten into trouble.
Or he could have kept his studies up and played a stronger role for his mom and younger sister.
Tolman chose the latter.
He worked two jobs after school, served three academic internships and pulled such good grades that he was selected for the National Honor Society.
Tolman, a straight-A student last semester, earned a $2,000-a-year Bank of America Joe Martin Scholarship.
He's headed to Georgia Tech in Atlanta to pursue a double major in mechanical engineering and applied physics and hopes to attend graduate school at MIT.
Tolman said he considered his dad's absence “more of a propeller than a hindrance.”
The family first learned of the father's drug charge from police, Tolman said.
When his dad later showed up in the middle of the night with two armed drug dealers, Tolman, his sister and mom, Dottie, left their Mountain Island Harbor home the next day for an extended-stay hotel, Tolman said. They remained there for a week or two until they found an apartment.
The son was about to turn 16. He was in the International Baccalaureate program at North Mecklenburg High, later switching to his home school of Hopewell. His father has been out of his life ever since, and Andrew said he doesn't know where he is.
“There was less money, so I picked up a job,” often working 35 to 40 hours a week at the AMC Northlake 14 cinemas, Tolman said. He's since held several other jobs.
“I came to learn that's him, not me,” Tolman said of his dad. “I've always been able to handle myself. Advice is best learned through experience and observation.”
“There were no tears, not until long after,” Tolman said about his reaction to the arrest. “It was all about being there for mom and Amber,” his sister, 15, a rising junior at Hopewell. “There was no time for complaining. I was, keep your head on, being strong for everyone.”
Tolman said he coped by not hiding his family's ordeal from people, instead being open about it.
“I admire him because he's overcome a lot that most kids never will (experience),” said Kristie Ballard, 12th-grade AP English teacher at Hopewell. “He could have made other choices. He could have dropped out, blamed people, gotten angry, and done illegal things.
“There are so many qualities about him even adults don't have.”
To Ellyn Henderson, Hopewell's valedictorian, Tolman is a great friend. “I can call him and he never judges me,” she said. “He's very fun, intelligent and interesting. He knows where he wants to go in life.”
For Tolman, that's Georgia Tech, even if he is a lifelong Georgia Bulldogs fan.
His sister gets his long-coveted queen-size bed and 1998 forest-green Jeep Grand Cherokee.
“And I don't plan to look back,” he said with a smile.
Staff researcher Maria David contributed.
