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Dear Amy: My mother recently died, and as her 70-year-old son, I gave my grandnephew's new wife about $1,500 worth of good jewelry that belonged to my mother.
Five months have passed without a written thank you.
She did thank me verbally when I gave the jewelry to her.
I text-messaged her and said, "If you're still enjoying Mom's jewelry, I would like you to send me a thank-you note.''
She got very angry and involved her husband, who mixed in other issues with his anger at this.
I feel I did nothing wrong and told them so, saying, "When someone gifts you with expensive jewelry, it is appropriate to write a thank-you note.''
Please tell me I wasn't wrong?
Tom
Dear Tom: I agree that your grandnephew's wife should have thanked you for your generosity by sending you a note. Absolutely.
However, your demand via text message to receive a written note was a tad harsh and inappropriate.
It sounds as if you don't have much of a relationship with this couple outside of this issue. Their immaturity combined with your prickliness brought on more rudeness.
If you want to try to mentor these people into being more considerate, you could dig deep and instead of instructing them about etiquette, you could explain how their lapse makes you feel.
