Two weeks after being hospitalized for overdosing on aspirin and a sleep aid, singer Fantasia Barrino says it was no accident. She wanted to die.
"I didn't have any fight in me. I didn't care about anything. I just wanted out," the "American Idol" winner, 26, tells VH1 in a new "Behind the Music" interview, airing 9 p.m. Tuesday, the same day her new album, "Back to Me," is released. "At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with -- all of it, all of that (expletive)."
She continues: "I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."
Barrino's manager, Brian Dickens, recalls finding her lying on the floor in her room. "Her emotions were extremely low," he says. "She'd been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying 'I love you.' I wrote back, 'I love you more.' Then it hit me."
"I wrote, 'You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.' And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, 'Already did.' I went into Fantasia's room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped."
What made the successful singer, who's preparing to release her third album, want to end her life? "I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their (expletive) – I was tired," she says. "My head was hurting me. I was over it."
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