When you first begin dating someone, it’s usually a very insecure time – at least it was for me when Andrew and I started dating. I found myself at times bending qualities of myself in hopes of making Andrew more intrigued. Little did I know, and would learn later, he was falling in love with my quirks. As time passed and we became more comfortable, we felt as though we could be more true to ourselves and embrace the qualities that make each of us unique. We could let our hair down, as the saying goes.
Getting married, however, was much like beginning the dating period all over again.
Because we were now living in close quarters and spending the majority of our free time outside of work together, I once again began molding my own personality around Andrew’s. I didn’t realize it at first, but I was twisting and tweaking my own likes and dislikes around his own. And the last thing I wanted to do was squabble over something minuscule like cooking.
Andrew is a picky eater, and I don’t just mean selective. The difference in our eating habits was one of the first things I learned about him after we got married. In an effort to both please and feed him, I began repeatedly making his favorites dishes, although they were not necessarily mine. In the beginning, I think I cooked every version of Hamburger Helper and fettuccine Alfredo known to man.
Not only did I bore my taste buds, but to my surprise, I ended up boring his as well. To spice things up, I switched around a few ingredients and added on side dishes. The result was interesting: Andrew actually began developing a taste for new additions that were out of his comfort zone!
As a new wife or husband, it is very easy to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the other person. In the end, I found that my husband was just as intrigued with my distinctive qualities as he was with our similarities. Too much consistency can get boring – just like our newlywed dinners. Embrace the things that make each of you different, and you will find that your spouse will be happy with the happier you.