There are certain topics of conversation that take place once you get married. These conversations are not typically ones you have with your significant other if you’re still in the dating stages of the relationship, for obvious reasons. One such example is the topic of children. It can be dangerous if you’ve only been dating a guy for three months and you drop the bomb by saying, “So, when we have kids, where do you want them to go to college?” Uh, talk about an all-time whammy of a subject. Most guys prefer not to discuss how much they will be shelling out for your future kids’ college tuition when they haven’t even met your parents yet.
When Marshal and I were dating, the topic of children may have come up a few times, but it was after we’d been dating for a few years and were pretty sure we were in it for the long haul. Even then, however, we never dissected aspects like when we will have kids, how many we’ll have, and the hopes and dreams we have for them. I was aware this topic can scare off a man, especially in the earlier stages of a relationship. I also knew that when we got married, this topic would inevitably arise, and in much more detail than we had ever imagined.
Since we purposely chose not to discuss the topic of children in great depth before we were married, we now find ourselves talking about it openly and freely. But there has yet to be a baby name that exists on this Earth that we can agree on. How is this possible? Aren’t we supposed to agree on everything? Aren’t we always supposed to be on the same page? Didn’t we get married because we were perfect for each other, which includes agreeing on every single subject?
No. This is obviously part of the Cloud 9 Effect. You’d love to think you’re always going to agree and be on the same page about everything, but in reality, you have to realize there will be things that arise in your marriage that will cause disagreements. I tend to forget that we’re human, and we will most likely give each other the silent treatment once in a while.
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So when I realized that we can’t seem to come to an agreement on a name, I saw that oh-so-familiar word pop into my head: compromise. Sometimes I hate that word, but I know how critical it is to a marriage. I know that when we actually have a baby, all the compromises and good communication with show through. And I figure if we can somehow perfect the art of compromise early on, then it will help us to truly be on the same page when it comes to raising our kids. And that’s what matters.