Q. I've been dating a guy for over a year who lives two hours away, so we only see each other one or two times a month. I started wondering why he was so unavailable and asked him if he had a girlfriend. He told me he was divorced and I believed him, but after hearing a bunch of rumors, I questioned him again, and he admitted he was married with a child. Despite this I've continued to see him. I love him. He says he loves me. But he hasn't made me any promises that he will leave her or start a life with me. What should I do?
Steve: A blind alley sometimes leads to insight. And this guy is definitely a dead end. Tell him you cannot see him again until after he is divorced.
Mia: Break up with him. This guy is toxic. He's never going to leave his wife, and you're going to be stuck waiting around for his monthly visits. I don't know anything about you, but I know you deserve better than this crap.
Don't force new friendships
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Q. Do you have any advice on how to handle friendships when you're in a relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year and we're doing great, but he doesn't love my friends and his pals bore me. Should we try to make friends with new people or just accept that we'll hang out with our friends separately forever?
Mia: Seems a little dramatic to me. First off, it's good to have some time apart from each other, so keep a night once a week when you go out with your respective pals. Then maybe throw a party and invite all your friends and see who gets along. You might be surprised. Also, after you're together a while, I'm sure you will meet people as a couple, but let that happen organically. No point in trying to force it.
Steve: A relationship, like democracy, is all about compromise. Each of you will need to accommodate the other's friends. But Mia's party idea sounds like fun.