That depends. Do you expect this to change?
Everything you said is probably true – you might always come second (or third). The key is viewing this as part of who he is and deciding if you still want in. When you analyze your decision, consider both sides. As you mention, being a devoted father is clearly a great quality. But is it a quality that’s great in the context of the relationship you want? And what role would you ever foresee having with his kids? Realistically, as they get older, the time demands might lessen, but they also might not. Knowing yourself well enough to decide whether you could be content with the latter case is crucial for your future happiness.
Just because something isn’t comfortable doesn’t mean it isn’t good for you. And, frankly, sometimes overly comfortable stuff – like Klonopin – can do you bad.
Drugs and alcohol aren’t a permanent way out of post-traumatic symptomology. They can only numb your feelings, while cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you gain control of them. CBT will help you neutralize some of the triggers that remind you of the accident and give you emotional and physical tools to lessen your anxiety and stop reliving it (consciously or unconsciously). Unfortunately, time by itself doesn’t always heal, especially when the root of the problem is continuing to eat away at you.