Trying to see his side here is difficult. (He’s a boob obsessed with boobs – how meta!)
We have a reasonable responsibility to try to remain attractive for our spouses, but that certainly doesn’t include being forced into surgery to give us entirely different bodies. Ironic that he hid behind the “boost your self-confidence” hogwash, when he’s the one knocking it down in the first place.
I can’t imagine anything short of counseling to work through this. Themes to start with: why he feels that he has more say over your body than you do, why he feels there’s such an imbalance in who’s done what for whom, and whether he has a distorted body image or a porn addiction that is changing what he needs in order to get aroused.
A problem with the boss
I’m sorry you’re feeling trapped. We may never know her problem, but engaging her will only inflame whatever it is. If there is an additional manager or even someone higher than her that can be your comrade in this, you’ll be better off.
But you’ll win their favor – and the owner’s – not by getting into fights with your general manager or venting to them, but by continuing to do your job as professionally as possible. That will leave her criticisms looking more and more outlandish and not in line with reality.