There are some pros of “nesting”: Kids don’t have to be shuffled around, and their routine and daily schedule and social lives are all less disrupted. But the cons, though less obvious, can also pack an emotional punch: Parents might never feel “at home,” an unease that could seep to the kids; the same housekeeping or boundary or trust issues that brought conflict within the marriage might still be staring the kids in the face; and the kids might also be uncomfortable with how mysterious and detached the parents’ “other lives” are, feeling like it’s the parents who are never really home.
Keep discussing it as the co-parents you’ll be, taking into account the dynamic of your marriage and your kids’ personalities. The more you acquaint yourselves with your kids’ input, even if you don’t always follow it, the better off you’ll be.
The more you show yourself to be influenced by their opinion – for better or for worse – the more you reinforce to them that their opinion is worth sharing. (This goes for many things, by the way, including your bathroom’s paint color.)
You’ll hate me for saying this, but make sure your anger isn’t springing from an insecurity about your choice. If you’re indeed solid in it, you have no reason not to develop a simple mantra and be guiltless about sticking to it: “I’ve heard and understand your concerns, but this is the right choice for me, and it’s a done deal. Now, how about that Bryce Harper!”