Still, your daughters don’t deserve to be picked apart. Find a time when your wife is in a good mood and raise the issue. Don’t be accusatory. Just explain that you’re trying to create a supportive environment. It doesn’t matter that you have a Y chromosome; you’re part of the family and are affected by the relationships therein. And if your wife could use some professional help in developing a healthy relationship with her teenagers, she certainly wouldn’t be the only one.
But I’m struck by the fact that you haven’t tried them yet, which leads me to believe you might need some help. You don’t mention if you are having compulsions (habits or rituals you must perform) connected to your obsessions (the intrusive thoughts). Sometimes compulsions are easier to attack. There is something called exposure-and-response prevention that is sometimes doable on your own, but why not have the extra support of a therapist working with you?
Andrea Bonior is a psychologist and author of “The Friendship Fix.” www.drandreabonior.com