But this situation has bothered you enough that I think something bigger is going on. So, you need to talk. And you need to ask questions, and listen as respectfully as possible. You’ll find out whether your relationship can rise above these differences. If you can’t agree on what’s supposed to be a celebration of your love, that’s a bad sign in and of itself. So don’t get engaged until you’ve come to an agreement on what a wedding would look like.
Walking into an ambush?
But since she contacted you, you should feel free to have a discussion with her about your concerns. She might not be able to detail exactly what will be discussed, and she is your sister’s therapist first and foremost, but your sister’s healing would not be served by starting additional fires. I understand you don’t want to keep having this conversation. But if this is the first time it happens on a professional couch, it represents a marked change from the past – and a shot at making real progress in moving past the conversation for good.
Andrea Bonior is a psychologist and author of “The Friendship Fix.” www.drandreabonior.com