Q. It seems the techniques you speak about work better for extroverted women. What about introverts like me? I would love to be able to flirt or walk up to men and hand them my card while telling them to call me if they want to have coffee sometime. But I am somewhat shy and I can’t see that happening!
A. I understand what you are feeling, and if it helps, I think you’d find that the majority of both men and women who date after 50 are feeling way out of their comfort zone when it comes to speaking with the opposite sex.
When I first started dating in my 40s, it felt scary to go up to men and just start talking to them. I ended up relying on Internet dating to create the possibility of meeting someone.
Well, the thing is your profile also has to be flirty. The easy part about online dating is you’re not directly watching a man’s facial expression when he reads what you’ve written, as you would in real life.
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The way you can get comfortable is from knowing as many techniques as possible for talking and relating to men.
Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you want to learn everything you can about men and dating because knowledge is what’s going to bring you comfort.
Then go out and practice, practice, practice it.
Sometimes you’ll get it right. Sometimes it will be more challenging, but practicing is the only way dating and approaching men will ever get easier for you.
Love over 60
Q. I am a 66-year-old widow and seem to get online responses from younger men, 40s and early 50s, and much older men, 74 up. What’s going on with the men who are closer to my age – men in their 60s?
A. There are lots of good men online who will date women in their 60s. You might not be seeing them because they aren’t your usual type. But they are there, and many will date women who are 3-5 years older than they are.
You will also find men in their 60s online who have this crazy notion that women of the same age can’t keep up with them. These are the men looking at women in their 40s and 50s.
There are two things you can do to improve your chances.
• If you’re willing to date online, you must have a really great profile and picture that show your very best you!
• Check out MeetUp.com in your area. Because their get-togethers are activity driven, it automatically creates something in common to talk about. Meeting men in real life takes away the age prejudice that is so common with online dating sites. And it gives you a chance to get to know someone’s personality.
Regardless of age, if you really want to meet a man, you’ll have to continuously take action, whether you do it online or in the real world to make something happen for you.