Written by Kris Hey
It happens to every child or teen at some point in life.
A boy or girl doesn't make a school sports team or isn't picked for a club or group.
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For many kids who just returned to school, something like this might have happened recently. It did to my child.
My 11-year-old son came home upset because he wasn't picked for something he wanted to be part of at school. Because he is getting older and my blogging may embarrass him I won't get into specifics.
But I will say it was hard for me to see him upset and confused. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to go to the school and ask, "Why didn't you pick my son?" I wanted to do something to make his pain go away.
But that isn't how life works, and mommy butting into his life isn't going to help make him a man. He would never hear the end of the teasing.
Rejection is part of life, and when it first happens to your child, you, as a parent, can make it a teaching moment. If you do, the next time it happens the blow might not feel so bad.So that's what I did.
I suggested my son gather some more information about why he wasn't picked. Ask what he could have done better. Ask if there would be a chance for him to be selected at another time. I told him not to assume someone didn't like him, which he thought, and get the details.
To my surprise, the following morning I received an e-mail from one of his teachers saying he had already talked with her about it, and he told her he was going to try really hard so that he might be picked in the future.
And it turns out there will be another chance, this year, his teacher said.
His always encouraging teacher was proud of him. In front of a group of students in his class she pointed out how good it was that he had set a goal for himself.
I praised him when he got home for taking such a big step. He felt a lot better asking questions and getting some feedback. Not only was a good sport, but he also learned what he could do to improve his chances.
We will see what happens.
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