Dear Drivers Utilizing the Midtown Trader Joe's Parking Deck,
It has recently come to my attention that there are many things about the parking deck that you may not know about. Allow me to shed a little light on the mystery for you.
Did you know that there are three, yes, three levels you can park on? The first level, the level with the Trader Joes and the Best Buy, is called Level One. The next level up is called Level Two. It may surprise you that they cleverly call the third level Level Three.
The great thing about there being three levels available is that when the first level appears to be full, you can go up to another level for even more parking! Do you know what this means? This means that you don’t have to stop your car and block up the entire parking lot waiting for someone to load their groceries into their car and then take the cart back. I know it's hard to imagine in a full parking lot, but there are actually people behind you who are now stuck either in line behind you or in their own parking space unable to go anywhere when you stop like that.
Instead of blocking everyone, you can actually go up one level, park, and be in the store in half the time it takes you to idle waiting for someone, which also lets the people behind you move too! I know! It’s freaking incredible how they designed that deck.
The other great thing about how parking decks work is that you really don’t even need to park on the ramp. Isn’t that great news? You no longer have to worry that you must back your Escalade into the very first and tightest space you see on the ramp for fear that if you go up a level you’ll drive that freaking thing right off the roof. The deck keeps going!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Yeah, but if I park in the area cleverly named Level Three, I have to walk down three levels to the stores. I know that as an American you have the right to park right by the front door even if it means tying everybody else up for 20 minutes. I’m not denying you that. But then I discovered that those sly dogs who designed the parking deck also put two, yes, two elevators in it! So you don’t even have to break a sweat!
So there you have it, Midtown Trader Joe’s shopper. The mysteries of how the parking deck works have been explained. Now get out of my freaking way.