Oh no, not the holiday Starbucks cups again.
With the election still a raw, open wound, Starbucks unveiled its new holiday cups.
We can’t handle this.
Last year, Starbucks’ decision to have a plain red cup was met with derision by those who said it was too politically correct for choosing inclusive subtlety over an overt “Merry Christmas” message.
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Donald Trump, then a long-shot presidential candidate, shared this view.
“If I become president, we’re all going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again, that I can tell you. That I can tell you,” Trump said last November.
Well, you’re not going to believe this: Trump is president-elect.
I don’t think those in charge of the holiday cups believed it would happen.
I think they were imagining their cups would be unveiled after the election of Hillary Clinton as America’s first woman president.
This year, Starbucks chose an all-women holiday cup design, with 13 women artists, six from foreign countries.
The cups celebrate internationalism and women – losers in this election.
“Merry Christmas” is not on the cups. Just red-and-white cups with reindeer, snowflakes and other generic holiday designs.
This might have been harmonious with a President-elect Clinton, but seems jarringly out of step with this new direction we seem to be on.
If Starbucks knew Trump was going to win, the cups would have been designed by 13 angry white guys from the Rust Belt.
“We hope that this year’s red holiday cup designs express the shared spirit of the holidays as told by our customers,” Sharon Rothstein, Starbucks’ global chief marketing officer, said in a press release.
What’s a shared spirit? Nothing we’ve had lately.
Starbucks should have figured that out earlier this month when it unveiled a green cup featuring a mosaic of humanity, “a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other,” company chairman Howard Schultz said.
But some took it as a slap at Christmas and subtle promotion of green as an Islamic color.
Trump supporters on Twitter called the cup “political brainwashing” and part of the “war on Christmas.”
That was the cup that was supposed to unify us, to smooth things out before the holiday cup of all those foreign women artists.
The good news for Starbucks is there’s still time to fix this. The holiday season is just beginning.
A new option should be added for those who want a cup designed by an American man – not one of those gay ones from the “elite” parts of the country, either.
Sure, it can have designs. But it’s gotta say “Merry Christmas.” And if you’re from some other faith, you can opt for a “Merry Christmas, Jews” cup or a “Merry Christmas, Muslims” choice.
That’s our only hope of getting through this holiday-cup season unscathed.
That I can tell you.