When the Observer’s limericks contest took a one-week vacation last week, most of our regular contestants took it in stride. But Bill McGloughlin of Charlotte worried about what was behind it.
As I read the Opinion page, ack!
Lim’rick contest vacation! Be back!
I mocked Putin. Oh, no,
Never miss a local story.
Do you think that it’s so?
Are we victims of some kind of hack?
He shared that with the Observer and some frequent limerick contributors. One was John Long of Stanley, who thought McGlouglin was overreacting.
Hey Bill, there’s no need for hysteria,
This delay doesn’t meet the criteria,
And you know, sure as shootin’,
If you’d irked Comrade Putin,
Your tail would now be in Siberia.
As much as we appreciate being missed, this week’s winner is Wes Long of Cramerton. He sent a number of funny ones, including this summary of how Donald Trump might have reacted after a McDonald’s employee posted a tweet insulting the president.
Trump’s response to the fast food purveyor:
“Ronald’s down, he’s a clown. I’M A STAYER!
Even worse is this sleaze
Who goes by McCheese.
That guy is a fake. NOT A MAYOR!”
An Observer story about Charlotte relaxing its rules governing food trucks got Long to thinking about whether this could help with stepped-up immigration enforcement.
“I’m excited ’cause I’m in the mood
For things barbecued, deep-fried and stewed.
So a list would be nice,”
Said the agent from ICE,
“Of the trucks that sell Mexican food.”
Frank Koconis of Matthews thinks Republican legislators need to keep working on their so-called compromises to repeal HB2.
HB2’s a disaster – we know!
It is costing us millions, and so
We will make you a deal
For a partial repeal,
If back in the closet you’ll go.
Phil Clutts of Harrisburg likes legislators’ proposal to ticket people who drive too slowly in the passing lane:
Some road hogs take up the left lane,
And drive folks like me near insane,
There should be a fine,
And vengeance is mine,
If they feel a small dose of my pain.
Cathie Solomonson of Troutman offered several funny takes on Trump’s budget that cuts PBS, including:
Poor Miss Piggy was visibly shaken
At the threat she’d be sold off for bacon.
“Don’t you know that it’s moi?
That could be the last straw.
My public will send your polls quakin’.”
Pre schoolers’ parents, in shock
See Big Bird’s big head on the block.
But Sesame Street
Can hardly compete
With a fighter that goes over Mach.
We’ll end with Bob Aldrich of Lake Waccamaw, who has fun with a pun upon news of the circus ending its run.
“The big circus has closed. That’s a fact,”
The trapeze artist gladly wise-cracked.
“Just consider my plight.
It’s been night after night.
I was catching my wife in the act.”
Thanks for all your entries. The fourth and final week starts now. Email your entries to me at tbatten@