Trump went to Puerto Rico to survey the damage done by the hurricane. And Mike Pence will go there tomorrow, to survey the damage done by the president.
“It turns out Mike Pence gave Rex Tillerson a pep talk to get him to stay on as secretary of state. Because nothing screams ‘pep’ like a talk from Mike Pence.”
“Trump told Puerto Rico that the recovery effort really threw his budget ‘out of whack.’ Puerto Rico said, ‘Well next time there’s a hurricane, we’ll just push the island out of the way, so it won’t get in the way of your budget.’ ”
Never miss a local story.
“President Trump was in Puerto Rico to survey the hurricane damage. Trump looked around then told the locals, ‘If I were you, I’d go stay at your second homes’ .”
“Trump was furious when he found out Price was charging the government for private planes. President Trump said, ‘Hey, that’s my thing.’ ”
“There’s talk of including video gamers in future Olympics. Olympic gamers would be treated like all other athletes, except they’d be tested for performance-enhancing ramen.”
“Former first lady Michelle Obama criticized the lack of diversity in Congress. Said Congress: ‘Not true, we have white men from 50 different states!’ ”
“House Speaker Paul Ryan said he thinks President Trump’s heart is in the right place on race relations. Oh, sorry, I misread that — his heart is in the WHITE place.”
“In response about the administration’s relief efforts (after Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico), Acting Secretary of Homeland Security Elaine Duke said this: ‘It is really a good news story in terms of our ability to reach people and the limited number of deaths that have taken place.’ You know you work for the Trump administration when one of the worst disasters in history seems like a good news story to you.”