Now, these are horrible, sickening revelations (about Rob Porter). So the White House had no choice but to defend him.
“Is the Trump administration so desperate for people who are even mildly competent that they’re willing to overlook anything? ‘O.K., it says here in your résumé that you are a meth-dealing cannibal human trafficker who runs a cockfighting ring — and proficient in Excel, that’s good! Welcome aboard!’ ”
“Trump told the Pentagon to plan a military parade. All right, check your cards — who has dictator bingo? I was close, I had ‘rallies’ and ‘attack the free press’; I didn’t have ‘military parade.’ ”
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“The stock market is just like the rest of us: It spent January working on improving itself, then in February said, ‘[expletive] it.’ ”
“President Trump met with former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who is 94 years old. When Trump asked him what his secret was, Kissinger said, ‘I committed war crimes during Vietnam.’ ”
“At the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said that religion is central to American life and liberty. At least, that’s what the porn star he cheated on his third wife with told him.”
“The Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl, defeating the New England Patriots, 41-33. Philadelphia then went on to defeat Philadelphia.”
“President Trump today criticized the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, tweeting, quote, ‘Little Adam Schiff, who is desperate to run for higher office, is one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington.’ Meanwhile, eighth-grader Jessica tweeted, ‘It is time to come together on bipartisan immigration reform.’ ”
“The world knows America has a military. It’s in their countries right now. If you really want a parade, every time there’s a drone strike just fly another drone behind it playing marching music.”