China has announced that during the Olympics, protesters will be allowed to assemble in designated protest areas. Yeah. Or, as they're commonly called in China, jails.
They say John McCain is 71, but people are saying he may be older. No one knows for sure because his birth certificate was destroyed when the Wagon Train was attacked.
Larry King is getting divorced. Yep. And Larry apparently has had seven wives…. Seven weddings, my God, Larry is the cause of the rice shortage!
Barack Obama told Tom Brokaw the other day on “Meet the Press” that what he's looking for in a VP is a person who will tell him when they thought he was wrong, to which President Bush said, “Trust me, that gets old really fast.”
Have you seen the new commercial? The McCain campaign compares Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. And today the Obama campaign released an ad comparing John McCain to Zsa Zsa Gabor and Bea Arthur.
Paris Hilton's mother is very upset…. Isn't that amazing? Of all the videos Paris Hilton has been in, this is the one mom's upset about?
You ever notice that Congress doesn't even call it a vacation? You know what they call it? A recess. You ever notice the only people that get recess are Congress, kindergarten and juries?
Well, Barack Obama and John McCain have both switched their positions on offshore oil drilling. They both used to be against it, but now they say they are for it under the right circumstances, like if it helps them get elected.
The Boston Globe reports that political experts are telling Barack Obama that when he's on vacation in Hawaii, he should stay away from loud Hawaiian shirts and Speedos. Well, isn't that pretty much good advice for any middle aged guy?