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Eli Ruble made huge and tragic mistakes last week. Knowing that won't bring back his friend Jay Derby, but the knowledge could save other lives this holiday season - and beyond.
Ruble told police he accidentally shot and killed his friend Jay at a party. He reportedly said he thought his muzzle-loading rifle was unloaded when he pointed it at his friend's head and pulled the trigger. He had intended to fire the gun to scare his friends at a party at his home.
That idea was tragically wrong-headed and immature. It was also "negligent," said Boone Police Captain Jim Wilson. "You don't point a gun - it's not a toy," he said. Last Monday, Boone police charged Ruble with involuntary felony manslaughter.
This was a tragedy that could have been so easily avoided. Wilson puts his finger on one wrong move anybody who has handled guns should know: Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction. That means a gun should never be pointed at someone unless you plan to use it - and even if you think the gun is not loaded.
That's high on the National Rifle Association list of safety tips. Other big no-no's?
Always keep your finger off the trigger until you're ready to shoot.
Always keep the gun unloaded until ready to use. Check to make sure it is unloaded before you handle it.
One other huge mistake was made too. When Ruble decided to go get his gun to, in his words, "scare his friends," he was not using good judgment. That poor decision was the precursor to the tragedy that unfolded.
Parties are notorious places for bad decisions to flourish. Alcohol and drugs, which are often times in abundance, cloud judgments during and after the festivities.
So as holiday season gets under way in earnest, this is a good time to learn some lessons from this tragedy.
Accidental deaths like this one appear to be infrequent but the kind of poor decisions that may have led to it aren't. Especially when alcohol is involved, the poor decisions mount.
Chief among them is over-indulging and drinking and driving. Ratchet down your amount of drinking this season, and never, ever drink and drive. If you drink, have a designated non-drinker take you home or take a taxi.
And for those throwing parties, make sure you have snacks and non-alcoholic drinks available. If possible, make arrangements for your drinking guests to get home or to allow them to stay with you.
Susan Derby, the mother of the slain 2007 Butler High grad who was studying business at Appalachian State University, said she's not angry with Ruble. "For me, it's just sadness," she said.
Ruble's uncle, Ben Brinkley, said Ruble, a Durham School of the Arts grad and talented musician, is not a "violent kid."
"This was an accident," he said. "I'm sure Eli's living in personal hell right now."
This sadness and anguish could have been avoided. Derby's death and Ruble's torment have lessons to teach us. Don't ignore them. Take heed and learn.
