At the start of another NFL season – an official holiday in many hops-infested opinions – let's take a moment to look at what has transpired since the New England empire collapsed in the Super Bowl seven months ago.
Bill Parcells went back to work, this time with the Miami Dolphins.
Brett Favre went back to work, this time with the New York Jets.
Adam ‘Don't Call Him Pacman' Jones went back to work, this time with the Dallas Cowboys, and on a very short leash.
Since the Super Bowl, we've been introduced to Sarah Palin, American Idol David Cook and sweet tea vodka.
Jake Delhomme has a new elbow.
Matt Leinart has an old job – watching Kurt Warner quarterback the Arizona Cardinals.
The Atlanta Falcons are back at the drawing board – again.
And so, here we are, as the man likes to say, ready for some football.
CAROLINA at SAN DIEGO: There are easier openers than going cross-country to San Diego where Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman is trying to do a Tiger Woods and play on one leg. The hunch here is the Panthers' season goes better than Merriman's. Chargers 31, Panthers 20.
DETROIT at ATLANTA: Matt Ryan might be the best thing to hit Atlanta since carpool lanes. Lions 24, Falcons 22.
CINCINNATI at BALTIMORE: Three things that are tough to love:
1. The NFL preseason.
2. Road work.
3. The Bengals
Cincinnati 27, Ravens 17.
SEATTLE at BUFFALO: The Seahawks have to make the cross-country trip without their three top receivers, who are injured. To make matters worse, drinks are $2 and snacks are $5 on the plane, and don't ask how much it costs to check all that luggage. Seahawks 24, Bills 20.
NEW YORK JETS at MIAMI: Note to Brett Favre: You're not in Green Bay anymore. Dolphins 27, Jets 17.
KANSAS CITY at NEW ENGLAND: Tom Brady can beat the Chiefs with one bad foot tied behind his back. Patriots 34, Chiefs 10.
TAMPA BAY at NEW ORLEANS: This could determine which team finishes second to the Panthers in the NFC South. Saints 32, Bucs 24.
HOUSTON at PITTSBURGH: For the statistics-inclined, here's one: The Steelers have averaged 30.8 points in their past five openers. Hence, Steelers 30.8, Texans 20.0.
ST. LOUIS at PHILADELPHIA: Don't give away the NFC East to the Cowboys just yet. Eagles 34, Rams 13.
JACKSONVILLE at TENNESSEE: First, UCLA takes out the beloved Vols. Now this: Jags 26, Titans 17.
DALLAS at CLEVELAND: Love 'em or hate 'em, the Cowboys are more fun than rush week at the University of Georgia. Cowboys 41, Browns 20.
ARIZONA at SAN FRANCISCO: The who cares game of the week. Cardinals 24, 49ers 20.
CHICAGO at INDIANAPOLIS: Another example of America's haves and have-nots. Colts 34, Bears 13.
MINNESOTA at GREEN BAY: I still haven't figured out why the Packers would rather have Aaron Rodgers than Favre, but maybe that's just me. Vikings 30, Packers 17.
DENVER at OAKLAND: In a nod toward the passing of former Raiders great Gene Upshaw, there will be no jokes about Al Davis' team this week, tough as that may be. Raiders 26, Broncos 23.
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