Thursday, the Carolina Panthers’ video team released a hype video for their upcoming training camp at Wofford College in Spartanburg.
It wasn’t your average hit-people-as-Papa-Roach-plays hype video, though. Carolina has been planting various items (t-shirts, stickers, etc.) around town with the hashtag “#WoffordIsComing” and a shield/crest logo that is themed after the smash hit show “Game of Thrones,” which returns to air Sunday and counts many Panthers as huge fans.
It’s a heavy, intense video feature gorgeous drone shots of Bank of America Stadium and a baritone voice dubbed over action shots of the Panthers knocking the snot out of other players and the “Keep Pounding” drum, and ...
... A man on a horse.
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Because I am a Journalist – the J is capitalized because this is a Very Serious Topic. J also stands for “July,” a month in which a mind void of football rattles around until it fixates on menial observations.
I decided to investigate.
Who is this man? Who is this horse?
Here is what we know.
▪ The man is not Luke Kuechly.
(I will pause for a moment to allow Panthers fans to imagine Kuechly on a horse.)
▪ The horse is not the Panthers new right tackle, although approximately the desired shape and athletic ability needed to fill the position.
▪ The man is probably hot. Because he is wearing fur, and it is Charlotte in July. Maybe he showed up to OTAs overweight and is correcting it. Bless his heart.
▪ The man does not seem to be in the NFL’s concussion protocol. Neither does the horse.
▪ The man and the horse, at one point, begin to gallop very fast. Where are they going? Are they going to Wofford? Isn’t Wofford coming? Are they showing a variation of Carolina’s new run game? Can the horse take a handoff? What is a handoff if one takes it with hooves? How is his downfield blocking? I am already hearing dissenting voices that don’t think the horse is an every-down back. Look, we have the film ok? Trust the scouts.
My head hurts.
The Panthers report to training camp on July 26.