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News of the day got you down?
Does your retirement account look as if it's been taken over by the Raiders' front office?
Are you seeing Henry ‘Hank' Paulson in your sleep?
Now more than ever, we need the NFL.
Maybe this is why Brett Favre came back.
Maybe this is why the Giants are unbeaten.
Maybe this is why Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are together.
We need something to believe in.
While our economy has been turned into guacamole, our fantasy teams – some of them anyway – keep winning.
Our stock portfolios might look worse than the St. Louis Rams, but we've still got John Madden in our dens on Sunday night.
And at the end of another rugged stretch, we can look forward to Week6:
CAROLINA at TAMPA BAY: To this point, the Panthers have remained under the national radar. A win at the Pirate Ship will change that. Panthers 23, Bucs 21.
OAKLAND at NEW ORLEANS: Raiders owner Al Davis said recently that his health is good and he anticipates remaining in charge of the franchise for many more years. He made a lot of people happy when he said that.
Most of them don't live in the Bay Area.
Saints 33, Raiders 21.
BALTIMORE at INDIANAPOLIS: Three things that have been underwhelming:
1. Taylor Hicks.
2. The Chicago Cubs.
3. The Colts
It's time for Peyton Manning to remind us how good he is. Colts 26, Ravens 13.
CINCINNATI at NEW YORK JETS: In case you hadn't noticed, Brett Favre leads the NFL in passing efficiency. Not bad for a 38-year old who was asked not to come back in Green Bay. Maybe that's why they're called Cheeseheads. Jets 38, Bengals 24.
DETROIT at MINNESOTA: The who cares game of the week. Vikings 29, Lions 7.
CHICAGO at ATLANTA: The latest polling numbers indicate Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan is likely to be elected Atlanta's newest sports hero. Falcons 20, Bears 15.
MIAMI at HOUSTON: Apparently, the Dolphins only beat the really good teams. The Texans don't qualify.
Therefore: Texans 22, Dolphins 14.
ST. LOUIS at WASHINGTON: Maybe new Redskins coach Jim Zorn should be in charge of crafting the economic recovery plan in Washington. He's doing a remarkable job with the football team there.
Redskins 35, Rams 13.
PHILADELPHIA at SAN FRANCISCO: The Phillies are the best thing to happen to the Eagles this season. It's still baseball season in the land of Billy Penn and Ryan Howard, which means no one has noticed the Eagles are sinking. 49ers 27, Eagles 20.
JACKSONVILLE at DENVER: The Jaguars were one of the trendy preseason picks to be the new AFC power this season. Instead, they're 2-3 and must find a way to stop Broncos' quarterback Jay Cutler, who's getting more good reviews than Heath Ledger as the Joker.
Broncos 28, Jaguars 20.
DALLAS at ARIZONA: Upset special.
Cardinals 30, Cowboys 27.
GREEN BAY at SEATTLE: After the Packers lost their third straight game last week, including a second straight in the Historical Landmark That Brett Left, coach Mike McCarthy proclaimed, “Our house is messy right now.”
Yeah, well, mine needs a new roof, one gutter is clogged and I forgot to roll the garbage to the street this week. Times are tough all over. Seahawks 28, Packers 18.
NEW ENGLAND at SAN DIEGO: After taking care of business in San Francisco last Sunday, the Patriots elected to stay in California this week rather than fly back and forth to sit in traffic and listen to everyone talking about the Red Sawks.
It seems like a good idea, unless Bill Belichick shows up on the sideline Sunday wearing shades and calling the officiating crew ‘dudes.' Chargers 27, Patriots 23.
NEW YORK GIANTS at CLEVELAND: The question isn't which team is the NFL's best – it's the Giants. The question is whether anyone is close. Not at the moment.
Giants 31, Browns 13.
Last week: 7-7
Season: 40-33
