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Because there is a possibility of snow and ice and because we are a modern media outlet like your television station, focused on being “On Your Side While We’re Here For You Eyewitness Calamity,” we offer the following obvious-to-an-infant tips, which we under-statedly label “Extreme Winter Last-Breath-of-Your-Life Survival Guide.”

MARK WASHBURN: I feel so foolish.

Thank you in advance for canceling my car loan.

Somebody needs to talk trash about Seattle. I am that somebody. And I am doomed.

All rise. It is time again for an audience with Lingo.

Let me start this year’s family holiday letter with Astonishing News No One Thought Possible – I got a job writing headlines for the Internet, and Nobody Was Prepared For What Happened Next.

Let’s try to look on the bright side of this gloomy thing.

It’s still a holiday weekend, so let’s forget the serious stuff.

Mark Washburn: If things didn’t change, we’d never have Post-it Notes, that first-down line on TV or pizza with corn-chip toppings, to name just three yellow innovations.

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Mark Washburn
Mark Washburn writes television and radio commentary for The Charlotte Observer.