The third week of “The Bachelor” seemed to pick up where Week 2 left off: lots of tension between Charlotte’s Caelynn Miller-Keyes, the 2018 Miss North Carolina USA, and Hannah Brown, Miss Alabama USA. This time, the tension escalated into all-out war.
Don’t worry if you missed Monday’s show, because we have all the drama here — a literal tear-by-tear, blow-by-blow breakdown.
As the episode opened, the women were notified of the first group date with Colton Underwood, which would be a “Pirate Adventure.” Hannah B., as she’s known on the show, was one of the first names called. Cut to Hannah B. telling the camera that she’s excited to go on a group date, and she’s really hoping Caelynn isn’t on the same date.
Guess what. She was.
“I am hoping that Caelynn’s name is not on the card, because I competed in pageants with Caelynn for years, and she’s somebody who I don’t get along with,” Hannah B. told the camera.
Caelynn told the camera: “I think today will be interesting because Hannah B. and I have had our differences in the past, but I don’t want our pasts to come in between more important things with Colton. I just want to have fun on the date and just be with Colton.”
‘Caelynn’s just everywhere’
On the date, the women dressed in sexy pirate outfits and did some jousting with padded poles on a plank, and yes, one of the rounds had Hannah B. and Caelynn fighting it out. Caelynn admitted to being nervous.
“Hannah gets so intense in competition, so I am nervous because there’s just a weird tension thing between us,” Caelynn told the camera.
Cut to Hannah B. — the “B” stands for “Beatdown” — knocking the fool out of Caelynn and winning the fight. “I really think he noticed me,” Hannah B. said. Then she looked over to see Colton and Caelynn “play-fighting” with swords and being all flirty.
“It’s a little frustrating to see Caelynn engage with Colton right in front of me,” Hannah B. said. “I’m trying my hardest to not get upset, but then Caelynn’s just everywhere.” As that soundbite played, there was footage of Caelynn swinging down a zip-line into Colton’s arms.
“I didn’t come here to compete in another pageant,” Hannah B. said.
Then Caelynn and Tracy were chosen to “compete” for Colton in a show attended by an audience, while the other women watched from the sidelines. Caelynn won and “saved” Colton.
Someone is starting to spiral
“You have GOT to be kidding me,” Hannah B. narrated. “It’s not easy to see Caelynn continuing forward with Colton. It brings out all my insecurities and I start to spiral. But if Colton knew the truth about Caelynn, who she truly is, I think he’d feel differently about her. And he needs to know tonight.” Dun-dun-DUN.
Caelynn got some alone time with Colton at the cocktail party that followed the group date, and Colton felt he had to explain and make up for an awkward moment he and Caelynn shared on stage earlier.
Colton: “I know at times for me this is a little difficult and I felt like in the moment that we were having up there ... I wanted to talk to you about that, because I didn’t do it right. It was our moment and it’s something that I struggle with especially because I like you. And I want to do something that I should have done up there. I want to give you a real kiss.” And then he gave her a real kiss, and they snuggled.
Colton told the cameras: “When I’m with Caelynn my guard comes completely down. Caelynn continues to really just be a lot of the things that I’m looking for. So I’m just really excited for (our) relationship.”
Miss Alabama is ‘befumbled’ and ‘shook’
Meanwhile, Hannah B. is back with the group whispering to Heather about how awful Caelynn is. “We used to be friends, like that’s the freaking weird thing, is the person that I was friends with is a different personality than this girl.”
Heather tells Hannah B. that if she “genuinely believes” that Caelynn is as bad as she’s saying, then she should tell Colton.
“It is hard to see him develop a connection with her because I know her,” Hannah B. said. “I’m like, befumbled. I mean, I don’t know another word. I don’t think she’s showing her true self and every side of her. That’s why I’m like, so shook. So he needs to know the truth.”
After Colton finished smooching with Caelynn, Hannah B. moved in and told him that she and Caelynn had been friends at the Miss USA pageant and that they “handle stress a lot differently.” She told him that there were a few things that happened, “I guess a ‘fall out,’ I guess you could say.”
Colton asked her if there was something he should know, so Hannah B. started whispering — “Bachelor” had to pull out the subtitles again, which I personally love — and told him that it was “the most hostile environment I’ve ever been in.” Then she just stared at him. Colton asked if Caelynn is “mean” or “manipulative” or “fake” and Hannah gave him a deranged smile.
“That look is not a good one,” he said. No. No it is not. (RUN COLTON, RUN!)
‘He friggin’ hates me’
“So it’s like hard because it’s like, if that’s what you want, then you don’t want me,” Hannah offered. Oh. Dangerous move.
“It’s like that?” Colton asked, ready to send her behind packing. Hannah B. backpedaled. “No, it’s like, that’s what I feel.”
Colton, who came within a frog’s hair of sending Hannah B. home last week because of her weird and awkward behavior, clarifies: “So you feel like if I have feelings for her, I can’t have feelings for you, because you feel you are that different?” Hannah B. was in full squirm mode by then. “I’m really sorry,” she said.
Colton told her he needed to take some time and figure all this out and he’d talk to her later. Even though every bit of his body language screamed, “Leave me alone,” Hannah B. awkwardly moved toward him for a kiss, which he avoided. She hugged him and he didn’t hug her back. She leaned up to kiss him and he pulled his head back, so that it was just a peck. Then Hannah took his hand so that they could walk out together, and he immediately dropped her hand and walked in the other direction.
He looked downright befumbled.
“He friggin’ hates me,” Hannah B. said as she walked away alone.
That’s a backfire
Colton told the camera that he doesn’t feel good after his conversation with Hannah, that he feels confused and frustrated. He asked Caelynn if they could talk again. Caelynn knew it involved Hannah B. and immediately told Colton she was nervous.
Colton told Caelynn he was confused because he had a conversation with Hannah and it was about Hannah’s relationship with Caelynn. He told Caelynn that Hannah used the word “hostile” and told him that she had to “remove herself” from their friendship, but that he didn’t get a lot of clarity from Hannah.
Caelynn told Colton she would be “honest and open” with him about it. She explained it was a competitive environment at Miss USA and that they handle competition differently. Then she touched on some traumatic things in her life that she said she has wanted to talk to him about — “real life $#*%” she told him, through tears — but not tonight, not right now. Colton melted, and pulled her in for a hug. He left her there just long enough to go back into the room full of women (which included Hannah B.) and get the “date rose.”
As he presented the date rose to Caelynn, he told her: “I want you to know I like you a lot and this is about our time together and our connection — and the fact that you saved me today on the pirate ship.”
That, Miss Alabama, is what you call a “backfire.”
You’ve got a drama hangover
Miss Alabama called all of the proof that Colton really likes Caelynn “frustrating and hurtful.”
“I probably just ruined my chances and I don’t know how to fix it,” she told the camera while crying.
Meanwhile, Caelynn was ticked off. “I’ve been through a lot of adversity in my life, so for her to say some made up $#*% and try and break up a real relationship, it’s incredibly frustrating. It’s infuriating ... For some reason, I’m a trigger for her. And I want him to send her home because he’s being lied to.”
The next morning, Caelynn was still emotional and told some of the women that she felt like she should be happy, but she’s not. She had a drama hangover. “I feel like that was taken away from me, the joy of getting a group date rose ... I keep crying ... I’m shaking, I can’t sleep, I don’t feel good.”
Caelynn told the camera she knew this would happen when Hannah B. came on the show, but not to this extent. She said she was afraid of Hannah’s retaliation.
In another area, Heather asked Hannah B. what happened with Colton, and in her re-telling, Hannah invented a whole part where Colton said, “I really, really like you and this is freaking me out.” (If he said that, I sure don’t remember it.)
“It would suck if he sent me home before her,” Hannah B. said, revealing that this whole thing is about her insecurities surrounding Miss NC beating her in the Miss USA pageant, and not about Colton at all.
Nina goes on a group date
Raleigh’s Nina Bartula, a Meredith grad and Cisco sales account manager, was invited on the second group date, which was a “Bachelor’s Strongest Woman” competition with Terry Crews and his wife Rebecca Crews. They were working out, competing, getting sweaty.
Sydney, an NBA dancer, asked Colton to help her stretch and it got pretty intimate. Nina took note. “Sydney snuck that in, I was not expecting that,” she told the camera.
The competition involved pushing a sled loaded with weights that were painted like a wedding cake, a tire flip, a limo pull and a “heavy heart” carry.
Play-by-play was called by Chris Harrison and Fred Willard. They didn’t show any of Nina’s competitions.
At the cocktail party after the group date, Colton unexpectedly sent Caitlin home. You could tell she was shocked and it was hard to watch. I felt bad for her. He gave the group date rose to Nicole.
A tank of rage
Instead of a cocktail party, we had a pool party this week. Hannah B. told Heather there had been a lot of “petty, girl drama things” (which she started). As they were talking, Colton and Caelynn walked right by them holding hands. “Kill me,” Hannah B. said. Heather was egging her on, telling her that Caelynn was probably going to “talk crap” about her.
Hannah B: “If Caelynn is talking crap about me, she better beware. There’s a beautiful monster inside of me and today I’m gonna have to let it out. I’d say there’s a tank of rage, and it’s full, and the beast is about to come out.” Then she roared like a dragon.
When Caelynn got alone with Colton she decided to tell him more about her issues with Hannah B.
She told him that she and Hannah B. do have a past that is not an “easy, breezy past,” She told him when she was getting more attention at the Miss USA pageant, and when she was first runner-up and Hannah B. didn’t place, that Hannah B. started to turn and started doing things.
“It was like manipulation and deceitful and talking not-kind things about me, it’s just a pattern of behavior.” She explained that whenever she has success, Hannah B. spirals and gets upset. “When someone toxic is coming into my life, that’s when I start to pull back slightly. I never want to throw her under the bus or anything like that, but I wanted to make sure that you know I want to be here for you and focus on the relationship.”
Colton told Caelynn that he had a one-on-one with Hannah and didn’t see that side of her, but he took it seriously and he went back to talk to Hannah B. again. He told Hannah that Caelynn called her character into question. He repeated the words “manipulative,” “toxic” and “deceitful.” Hannah said she is not those things, and that Caelynn is “fake” and puts on whatever personality she wants for whatever situation. She told him if he picked Caelynn, he would “never see the full person.”
Colton said he didn’t know what to believe. Hannah implored him to trust her, but he got up and walked away. He went off with a producer and vented his frustrations and said he didn’t know who to believe. Chris Harrison came in and Colton told Chris he likes both women and repeated that he doesn’t know what to believe.
The rose ceremony
Nina admitted she was worried that she would go home since she didn’t get time to talk to Colton, because the pageant girl drama monopolized the day.
File under “Life Isn’t Fair,” but Nina in fact did not get a rose, while Hannah B. did. We will miss you, No-Drama Nina!
But then Hannah B. also obsessed over the fact she was the last person to get a rose. She started whining over how everything was “so unfair.”
Sitting alone at a table, crying, Hannah B. said “I f*$%ing hate her.”
A preview for next week showed Hannah B. with a leech on her stomach and she called it Caelynn. Dear lord. It’s not over.
“The Bachelor” airs at 8 p.m. Mondays on ABC.
Previous ‘Bachelor’ coverage
▪ Learn more about this season’s North Carolina contestants Caelynn Miller-Keyes and Nina Bartula.
▪ Our recap of Week 1 of ‘The Bachelor,’ when the women met Colton for the first time.
▪ Our recap of Week 2, when we got the first indications of discord between Miss North Carolina and Miss Alabama.
▪ And going back to the previous season, here’s all of our coverage of Raleigh’s Jenna Cooper, from “The Bachelor” and “Bachelor in Paradise.”