I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to, finally, FINALLY, see the South get credit for doing something right.
And not just anywhere in the South. Mi-ss-i-ss-i-pp-i! The state whose test scores and literacy rates inspired less charitable Southerners to routinely say: “Thank God for Mississippi” because it ranked dead last for a long time.
But that was then, and this is now and it needs to be shouted from the backs of pickups everywhere that Mississippi has come out ahead of, wait for it, California in one very important category: A well-scrubbed and obedient 99.9 percent of Mississippi’s children have been vaccinated against the measles.
Way to go, Mississippi!
California kids? A paltry 92.7 percent are vaccinated. And guess what else? After refusing to vaccinate their kids, this hodgepodge of loony D-list celebs, delusional rich folk and “anti-guvmint” wingnuts took their sickly spawn to Disneyland.
What could go wrong?
Well, now we very well know what could go wrong. Turns out that the Western-themed Big Thunder Mountain Railroad isn’t the only throwback to olden days of gunfights and, eek, smallpox in California.
Yes, measles is coming back and possibly whooping cough, diphtheria and, what the hey, maybe even polio.
But not in Mississippi, where right-thinking parents vaccinate their kids at near-perfect levels.
Those who treat their tumors with advice from cancer expert Suzanne Somers, bless her heart, or those who regurgitate the ancient anti-vacc piffle of scientist/former Playmate Jenny McCarthy, are not welcome in the great state of Mississippi.
It should be noted that while in the South one simply does what must be done on the advice of a wiser elder, in California they know that nobody’s going to listen to Meemaw, so they are using a stable of high-powered celebrities to persuade parents to do the right thing.
You might wonder why someone needs Jennifer Garner or Salma Hayek or J-Lo to tell them to vaccinate their kids, but I’m glad they’re doing it.
Clueless California Parent: “I wasn’t going to get that tetanus booster for my kid because shots make him go ‘Oww!’ but the woman starring in a movie about a hot English lit teacher seducing an insane high school student says I should, so, yep, I’m all in.”
These movie stars are on the front lines of promoting vaccinations and preventing, as the Los Angeles Times put it, a backslide into medieval ignorance.
And while Medieval Ignorance would make an amazing name for a band, it’s not a good way to raise your kids. For once, listen to Mississippi, y’all.