Dear Amy: My granddaughter was invited to a high school senior prom a couple of months ago. She is 16 years old and in the same high school as the person who invited her.
My granddaughter went out and purchased a beautiful dress. The day of the prom, she got her hair done, had her nails and makeup done, and basically went the “whole nine yards.”
The heartless creep who was supposed to take her called her two hours before he was supposed to pick her up and said he wouldn't be taking her. He said he had decided to take someone else.
Needless to say, she was devastated.
How could anyone be so cruel as to pull a stunt like that?
Should he be able to get away with it?
Dear Wounded: First, a word about high school heartless creeps. In the end, they end up getting their own treatment thrown right back at them.
You should encourage your granddaughter to take a very long view on this.
This is a perspective that grandparents can offer, and one that teenagers need.
You should rent the movie “Never Been Kissed” and watch it with your granddaughter.
In this charming movie, a similar event happens, but what the movie offers is a version of what can happen next. Your granddaughter should be encouraged to always behave ethically and with integrity, regardless of the heartless creeps she may encounter along the way.
If they haven't already, your granddaughter's parents should contact the boy's parents. She is owed an apology, and the right thing for the boy's parents to do would be to compensate her for her expenses.
Don't ‘give away' bride
Dear Amy: I must respectfully take exception to your stand on “giving away” daughters at a wedding.
I am a minister. I have four daughters and have had the experience of their weddings. My eldest expressed it best when discussing both “giving away” and “officiating” at her wedding.
She said, “Dad, I am not chattel or cattle. Please just ‘present' me, and as far as ‘officiating,' I just want you to be ‘Dad' that day.”
The issue is not ownership of daughters on the part of a parent, but rather love, honor and respect on the part of a daughter.
Dear Dad: You raised a very wise daughter. I agree with her (and you) that there is a world of difference between “giving away” and “presenting.”
What's more natural?
Dear Amy: I have been smiling as I read the responses to the questions about breast-feeding. I am a woman who breast-fed both of my children and look back fondly on that time of our relationship. They are now 10- and 14-year-old boys. I believe they are being raised to view breast-feeding as a natural thing and do not feel uncomfortable when they are exposed to it (discreetly).
I am the wife of a pastor. When we had our first child, we were living in a very small community in Idaho. It was not unusual for church members to simply stop by the parsonage unexpected. One day as I was feeding my baby, a church member came to the door. This particular man was a dairy farmer. He came into the living room, completely comfortable with what was happening, and asked me very jovially, “How's the baby taking to the teat?” It was so funny, yet I also appreciated his perspective that feeding my baby in that way was a completely natural way to be.
Mom in Idaho
Dear Mom: My own background (I grew up on a dairy farm) might inform my own views on breast-feeding, which seems like the most natural and non-threatening act in the world.