Marshal and I dated for almost six years before we said our vows to one another. Six years is a long time. It’s enough time to really get to know someone. I know everything there is to know about my new hubby. I know that when he sleeps at night, his feet have to be outside of the covers, but when he naps, they have to be inside. I know that he loves seafood, but hates pork chops. I know that prefers red wine over white, and that if he could sleep outside under the stars in his hammock every night, he would. These are the things you learn about someone after dating them for six years. And these are the things that contribute to the love that continues to grow with each passing year.
So when you think you know every little thing there is to know about your spouse, you become quite shocked to learn of things that you had no idea about. And no, I’m not talking about criminal charges or some sort of weird habit. I’m talking about everyday things that just never seemed to come up in conversation. For example, this past weekend we were talking with some friends about the TV show “Gilligan’s Island.” Marsh said, “I love that show! I watched every single episode while I was getting ready for school when I was little.”
Me, somewhat stunned upon learning this information, said, “You did? How did I not know that about you? I’ve never even seen one episode.” I sat there feeling confused. How could I not know this? After all, he is my husband. I’m supposed to know everything about him!
Then I began to discover other little things I didn’t know, like that he used to hate condiments on his burgers, or that he can’t sit on the beach for long periods of time without doing some sort of activity or he will get antsy and bored. How could I miss these things? Am I a bad wife?
My panicky, over-reactive, highly anxious, psycho side took over, and I began to freak out that I didn’t know him at all. Apparently I missed the memo on 1) being sane, and 2) that little things are just that: Little things.
Once I calmed down, I thought about why I didn’t know those things about him. I came to the conclusion that there is just no way you could possibly know everything about someone. And even when you learn most things about them, it’s exciting to know that after six years, I am still learning more. It adds intrigue to our marriage, and makes me happy to think that there could still be so much more to learn about one another. It helps to prevent the marriage from becoming stagnant and allows us to still retain our individuality. We have the rest of our lives to find out about those little things, and to embrace them as they help us to grow and learn together as a couple.