Q. My mom died about five years ago from cancer at 50. My dad is now talking about trying to date again, which my sister and I think is great.
He's only 57 and he's a really sweet, smart guy. We'd love for him to have more companionship. But it's been so long since he dated that he's really insecure about his appearance. He called me the other day to say he wants to get an eyelift. He thinks it will boost his confidence. My sister thinks he should go for it. I think it's ridiculous. Who's right?
Mia: In general, I'm a fan of growing old gracefully. But I looked up eyelifts and discovered that actor George Clooney allegedly had one – according to several plastic surgery Web sites. What's good enough for Clooney is good enough for your dad. The guy's had a tough couple of years. Let him have the procedure.
Steve: Surgery is a heck of a way to gain confidence. Exercising for flat abs would be cheaper. Plastic surgery seems to make you look better – or make you look bizarre. Still, the decision is up to him. Urge him to do as much research as possible on the surgery and to talk with more than one doctor before committing.
He's lying about his age
Q. I'm a 24-year-old woman and have been on four dates with a charming man I think I really like. He told me he's 36, which I don't feel is too bad of an age difference. This week, I told a woman at work about him. It turns out she has a friend who knows him. She found out that he's really 43, not 36. Now I don't know what to do. If he lied about his age, won't he lie about other things? Plus, 19 years older is quite a difference. Should I confront him, break it off, or pretend I don't know?
Steve: I'd confront him without being confrontational. Simply ask him how old he is. If he lies again, begin a discussion about how you believe honesty is crucial to any kind of a relationship. He'll probably get the drift and 'fess up. He probably lied out of vanity or fear that you wouldn't be interested if you knew his true age. Either way, it's wrong. He would've been better off playing the hand he was dealt.
Mia: Or you could present it as a joke. You know, “Hey, this is so funny, but someone told me you're actually 43. I don't care – older men are totally sexy – but how old are you really?” Then he might feel more comfortable telling you the truth.