Q. I was at the market the other day and a nice-looking man needed to pass, so I said, “Excuse me,” and he said, “Did you say squeeze me?” and I thought for a second and answered yes! So he walked over and hugged me. I loved it. I wanted to talk more but did not know what to do, being that I’m a ’70s girl and girls did not pursue at this point. Guys did. I felt like if he was interested he would have carried on the conversation. What should I have done?
A. I want to congratulate you on thinking of ways to flirt with him. Now … how do you lead a guy to continue the conversation without it appearing like you’re pursuing him?
You want to understand that as scary as it probably felt for you trying to figure out how to get him to continue your conversation, it was probably 100 times harder for him. The movies have made it seem as if men just come up to women they want to talk with. Not true. In reality, most men are petrified of your rejection.
The secret lies in making it safe for a man to approach you.
In your situation, you could have handed him a card or a piece of paper with your first name and number on it. Then you could have said something like, “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you and would love to continue our conversation sometime. Here’s my number.”
This is such a simple way of telling a man you are interested, and if he’s interested too, he now knows how to reach you. You aren’t pursuing here. You are just giving him an opportunity to continue what got started. And you’ve shown him it’s safe to talk with you again.