Moms

Life After Losing Brian: Life IS Good

Tammy Garlock

Despite all she has been through, Tammy’s conviction that life is still good comes down to one thing.....making the deliberate decision on a daily basis to believe it is so.
Despite all she has been through, Tammy’s conviction that life is still good comes down to one thing.....making the deliberate decision on a daily basis to believe it is so.

“Do you believe your shirt?”

I had finished sharing Brian’s Story with a driver’s education class… The young lady’s question caught me by surprise, so much so that I had to glance down to see what I was wearing.

“I’m sorry; did you ask about my shirt?”

“Yes; do you believe what it says?”

“Well…good question. Yes, actually, I do…life IS good. I’m sure that’s probably a surprising statement coming from me after what you’ve just heard, but it’s true. There was a time when I couldn’t even begin to imagine feeling that way again. My life doesn’t remotely resemble what it was prior to June 12, 2008; it’s completely different now. But today I am able to say it’s still a good life…”

On the drive home I had plenty of time to reconsider her question and my answer…

If asked again, I would respond exactly the same way.

I’ve been a fan of the “Life is Good” brand since I purchased my first tee-shirt in the mid-90’s, adorned with an image of Jake and the trademark phrase. The simplicity and optimism perfectly expressed my sentiments exactly…

I placed a small, round “Life is Good” sticker in with Brian on the day he was buried, hoping that one day, at some point down the road, I would believe it again…

It didn’t happen easily…I didn’t just wake up one day suddenly feeling better about the tragic turn our lives had taken… How could I?

I knew Brian would want us to carry on, to live life to the fullest and be fearless about it, as he was until the end… In order to do that, I had to seek (and find) some tiny measure of satisfaction in the simplest of things scattered throughout my new, unwanted life, as difficult as that would be…

My conviction that life is still good comes down to one thing…making the deliberate decision on a daily basis to believe it is so… I consciously try to find the best in things when navigating the gap between my expectations and my actual experience.

I don’t always succeed, but I haven’t lost a single thing by making the effort…

With many thanks! -tg

rememberbrian@mindspring.com On Twitter: @briansmom061208

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