Soshally Awkward: Love him more

We are often hardest on the ones we love the most.
We are often hardest on the ones we love the most. Getty Images/iStockphoto

My husband is mowing the grass. My daughter is sitting on his lap. I can see them from the window. They are both grinning and talking about whatever it is that they talk about when it is just the two of them. It makes me happy. I needed to see this because I've been wound a little tightly this weekend.

On Friday, I was frustrated to the point of tears over an insurance hiccup. Tony, my husband, was slammed at work but he talked me off the ledge in a calm and reassuring way. He didn't marginalize my frustration but he helped me gain perspective.

On Saturday, the opposing soccer coach said something off-color to me at the end of the game. I let it go on the soccer field because I didn't want to make a scene in front of the girls. However, when we got home I brought it back up. I ranted and raved and told Tony all the wildly witty and cutting remarks I should have let fly. After a while of listening with a half grin, Tony just smiled and said, “Wanna go have a beer and watch the Mountaineer game?” Well, no one has ever said he doesn't know me.

Today, I realized how fortunate I am to have had this man by my side for close to 20 years. He is the Desi to my Lucy. He allows me to dream big while his hard work and determination keeps us righted. However, I also realized how easy it is to take the one that is always by your side for granted. I am often hardest on the ones I love the most, especially Tony.

We've been together for a long time. We know each other's habits and idiosyncrasies better than we know our own. When I get upset one of my main defenses is to withdraw my love. I've done this to my husband more than once. I've been hard, spoiled and unappreciative at times.

I know that I am still going to get irritated when he eats my leftovers or when he forgets to stop at the store. And, I know that every now and then we are going to have a solid Come to Jesus meeting.

However, I am going to make every effort to concentrate on all of his many wonderful attributes. I am going to talk to him like like he is my best friend - because he is. I am going to make BBQ meatloaf more often. I am going to laugh like only he can make laugh. I am going to tell him when he warms my cold heart. I am going to hug him when he gets home from work. I am going to bring him a cup of coffee in the morning. I am going to put my legs over his lap when we've collapsed on the couch after a long day. I am going to send him ridiculous gifs throughout the day. I am going to remind him how much he means to our girl. I am going to let him know how much brighter he makes my world.

I am going to love him more!