Moms Columns & Blogs

Do you measure up to love?

By Alicia Roberts

McClatchy Newspapers

Want a little reality check on how you perform your relationship? Try this humbling little exercise.

Take this wedding-ceremony passage and replace the word “Love” with your name. (It’s 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.) And though the words often are spoken during wedding ceremonies, the exercise can shed light on any relationship.

Let me show you:

1/8 Alicia 3/8 is patient. 1/8 Alicia 3/8 is kind. 1/8 Alicia 3/8 does not envy, 1/8 Alicia 3/8 does not boast, 1/8 Alicia 3/8 is not proud. 1/8 Alicia 3/8 is not rude, 1/8 Alicia 3/8 is not self-seeking, 1/8 Alicia 3/8 is not easily angered, 1/8 Alicia 3/8 keeps no record of wrongs. 1/8 Alicia 3/8 does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1/8 Alicia 3/8 always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When I first did this exercise (thanks to writer Jill Rigby for suggesting it), I became more and more disheartened every time I inserted my name for “Love.”

Patient? Sometimes. Ditto for kind. Easily angered? Far more often than I’d like to admit, and the same goes for “shows no record of wrongs.” But I sure try hard on protecting, trusting, hoping and persevering – to the point of annoyance to some of my friends and family.

After doing the exercise, do I feel like an adequate partner in any relationship? Not so much.

But I do have a good starting place for improvement.