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Doing fine...

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While eating a hotdog for lunch, I had an epiphany…  For the first time since it happened, I found myself wondering what things would be like if Brian was still here, rather than thinking nonstop about how it used to be…  I’m not sure if this is the beginning of a new phase for me…  It might have been the ketchup...

Communication between us comes in bits and bursts; usually I’m the person gauging the state of mind and daily disposition of our family.  So it was a bit disconcerting to have one of my children ask “Mom, how’s your marriage is going?” out of the blue... 

My first response was “Beg your pardon?”  I wasn’t sure where she was going with the question...  The last time she asked something along those lines, she suggested it might be a good idea for us to have a baby so her dad wouldn’t be the only male in the house.  We were early into our new life and she was worried he would leave us; she saw this as a kind of insurance policy.  Fortunately, she later realized that wasn’t a good idea, even if it had been a possibility for us.  The memory of that conversation makes me smile a little, because for many years now our kids have all preferred to believe us over the hill and too old for such things…   

This time, after talking for a while, I determined her question wasn’t out of serious concern on her part about our relationship but rather her desire to be truthful when responding to her friends and their parents.  I told her I’m not sure they are expecting anything more than “They’re doing fine”, which would be a fairly accurate statement.  All marriages have ups and downs and require work; when we said for better or worse, we meant it, though this was never a consideration.  On most days, I’m okay, he’s okay, and we’re better together than apart… 

That said, we are about to undertake a big home improvement project together at the lake, which will be a test of sorts…   John just finished putting down an epoxy finish on the garage floor at home; it was the first true ‘project’ he’s completed without Brian’s help.  Maybe this is the beginning of something new for him too…

Wishing you many blessings and always, hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

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