Moms Columns & Blogs

Prom Princess

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May, 2009

The smile doesn’t touch the eyes…it’s always the giveaway…  I imagine the way I was, and I’m trying to be a great pretender, imitating that woman; sadly, I believe the only person I’m fooling is myself.  Those who know me best, know better…

I suppose a teenage girl’s first prom is second only to her wedding in terms of excitement and preparation…  At least, that’s the case with our daughters… Thinking back, Brian was pretty psyched about his too, but he required a lot less effort in getting ready… 

For Beth’s, everything was carefully arranged well in advance.  Each step of the way was an occasion unto itself.  The quest for the perfect dress and shoes (2-piece dark blue, strapless, lace-up with full skirt with black peep toe slings); hair, (up); makeup (natural); mani (french) & pedi (pink); accessories (minimal); and Joe’s boutonniere (white rose).

With Brian, Sunny decided almost everything: the style of tux (no tails), the shoes (shiny), and the color scheme (black with pink); all we had to do is pay.  Brian gave himself a haircut (shaved to a one-guard) several days before, and picked out the flowers (white miniature roses for her, single white rose for him).

This time around, Grace’s first formal, has been beautifully chaotic…  She’s going as ‘friends’ with an ex-boyfriend, Casey.  He recently found himself without a girlfriend and therefore, a prom date...  Little did I know Grace forgave him for breaking up with her via text message; they have been friendly again for months…

We borrowed the dress from our cousin Ashleigh (one-piece light blue, strapless, lace-up with fluffy, full skirt paired with black strappy slings); we begged a hair appointment (half up, half down style); makeup (MAC worthy executed by her sister); mani (french) & pedi (coral); accessories (sterling silver); and his boutonniere (white rose-last minute from the Teeter).

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The hardest part about today has been trying to ignore the echoes of Brian’s prom last year.  We are genuinely happy for Grace, but the memories brought up cut to the core.  We’ve tried to disguise our pain; either she hasn’t noticed it or she has blinders on.  She deserves to have her shining moment in the sun, just like Beth and Brian did, without the heavy burden of our grief smothering her joy.  It needs to seem normal, even if we aren’t.

She is different, this is not the same, and it’s not leading us to the same place…  Or is it?  Oh ye, of little faith…I mean me…

She looks like a Disney princess…

Please join me!  Our Children's Memorial Walkway invites anyone grieving loss of a loved one to come to a special spring memorial service April 24, 2010 at 2 PM at Our Children's Memorial Walkway and Garden in Frazier Park, 1201 West 4th Street. Families who have lost a loved one of any age are invited to bring a lawn chair and attend.

Wishing you sunshine and hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator

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