Moms Columns & Blogs

Parking and a Pear Tree

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I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting to feel on the first day of school, but wow.  It has been…gut wrenching...mind numbing…painfully incomplete…we are broken open anew.  It’s like I have been forcefully harnessed into one of Carowinds’ thrill rides… Having to endure loops, drops, inversions, and twists at eye-watering intensity…only without the thrill…just the nausea…  

The lack of morning chaos was, in itself, chaotic…  Brian was impossibly difficult to get moving in the mornings; I would literally have to pull the covers off of him and insist that he sit up, feet flat on the floor…  Grace always got up first to take a shower; she felt she had an image to maintain, spending way more time on hers than Brian ever did on his.  His alarm would go off; sometimes he would hear it, other times not…  He would say he was up, fifteen minutes later, he was snoring again…  It was crazy…we all had to take turns getting him vertical and out the door, though it was generally Grace or John who ultimately rolled him out of his bed…  Usually five minutes before Daniel arrived…sometimes as he arrived…no wonder he always wanted to have mint gum in his book bag…  

I continue to search for a calm place in the midst of change wider than the Grand Canyon; to that end, I have embarked upon a new endeavor.  As I am prone to do, I have taken something small to an entirely different level…  It started with an innocent question about the pear tree in our back yard…  

Last spring John and a neighbor dug out a wide swath of random shrubs and bushes at the back of our driveway, right up to the edge of this pear tree.  They leveled the ground and a few days later John covered this freshly cleared area with gravel.  The change in grade was significant so he built a slight retaining wall to keep it from washing out and becoming a gigantic sea of mud.  We were expanding our parking area in order to accommodate Brian’s car…  

This past Friday our friends Nee’ Nee’, Gary and their infant grandson came to visit, delivering smiles, laughter and a wonderful meal…  As they were leaving, Nee’ Nee’ looked up and commented on how loaded the pear tree was; she asked me what I was going to do with all of those pears…  Hmmm…  ‘I have no idea!  I didn’t even notice…this is the first time that tree has done anything since we’ve been here!’  I guess the tree figured it had better deliver a bumper crop or we might cut it down, considering we took out everything around it not long ago…  

I couldn’t let them go to waste, but what do you do with a load of pears?    I pondered this, thinking back to my childhood…  My grandmother used to put up veggies, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and learn to make pear preserves.  What’s the best way to pick pears?  Our tree was too slender to climb and the branches were unable to support any additional weight.  We finally took turns standing on a ladder and picking them by hand…  John also tried using a golf ball retriever to knock some loose, but it was impossible to catch them...more than one always fell, pelting us in bursts like hail, almost knocking us on our heads…  I really hope our neighbors weren’t watching this unorthodox harvest; it was beyond ridiculous, for sure…  

I have concluded that at least for me, it’s true…during this disordered time in my life, I crave simple comforts and a return to my roots.  While I was too young to actually help my grandmother and Cousin Annie around the hot stove, I have soothing memories of them going through the motions…  Perhaps there is even more to it…  I need the challenge of learning something new that requires focus and attention to the fine details…  I’ll be creating something wonderful (I hope)…  And most of all I will be far too busy to notice the sound of silence saturating our home.  I never thought I would long for the endless commotion, but I would give anything to have it back again…Miss you much, B…  

Original blog posts have been re-posted under the month of March, identified as Archive-Part 1, etc.    

Informal support group…meeting at Panera Bread, Matthews, NC on Saturday, April 25, 2009 @ 10:00 am.  Please send a message if you plan to attend…  Wishing you hope… TG  

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator 

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