Moms Columns & Blogs

The Fear Factor...

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Icy fingers of fear are forever slithering over the edge of our thoughts, relentlessly pursuing a position of dominance in our broken state...  It insidiously creeps along, largely unnoticed at first, ultimately infecting even the most mundane details under a cloud of anxiety…  

Fear is a major factor in our new life, period.  We don’t want it to be; it just is.  Some things cannot be helped, they are simply felt.  Every single day I make the conscious decision to say “NO” to the apprehension, only to find I must do it again and again…  Some days are better than others; sometimes worry and the persistent sense of unease win out, resulting in mad drama…  

“What we have here is a failure to communicate”.  I have never seen the movie Cool Hand Luke, but tonight, this line nicely sums up the state of affairs in the Garlock family…  

The scene: just before supper, gathered around the kitchen.   

The characters: a grieving father panicked at the thought of something else going terribly wrong; a teenaged daughter, arrogantly and adamantly determined to live out a ‘normal’ life; a battle weary, mourning mom, desperately trying to hold her family together.  

The issue: spring break.  Daughter wants to go to the beach with numerous friends, under the supervision of exactly one parental (not hers) chaperone.  

The breakdown: Dad denies permission, instead offering an alternate scenario, whereby parents take daughter instead.  Daughter falls apart, evoking a lengthy diatribe, ending with harsh words and hard feelings all around.  

I’m so sick of playing peacemaker between these two.  Neither makes any effort to understand the other.  John can barely tolerate the girls being out of his sight for school; forget allowing a road trip to Cherry Grove.  Grace needs to be a typical teenager, no matter what.  She believes John wants to lock her in the house 24/7/365 and run all aspects of her life.  John considers her impulsive and oblivious to the possibility of danger.  Grace wants to be 27; John still sees her as 7.  I want them to stop fighting, start listening and compromise…  He DID give her an option, which is a HUGE step for him…  

Fear and control…  Control and fear…  Too much of one, too much of the other?  A vicious cycle, each feeding on the other…  I’m done…exhausted…  Now I lay me down to sleep, I’m giving them up to Him to keep…

Wishing you blessings and hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator

 
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