Moms Columns & Blogs

Springtime

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March, 2009

Most mornings I wish to do nothing more but lock the door and keep reality at bay…  I’m sure many share this desire of mine, and even have a good and worthy cause at the ready…  Invariably, the pull of my responsibilities yanks the blanket from my grasp, and I concede defeat (or victory, depending on your perspective) as my feet hit the floor once more…

It is raining again tonight, but earlier today it was beautiful…  I am desperate for longer days, sunshine and warmth…  In my entire 40-plus years, I don’t believe I’ve anticipated the trees budding or the daffodils reaching for the sky as much as I have this year, as we near the end of our first winter without Brian.  The azaleas, dogwoods and other signs of life bursting forth and brightening this empty landscape sing to me, songs of renewal and rebirth…  Their showy debut will prove, yet again, that lady spring always triumphs over old man winter, which in turn inspires hope that someday, my broken heart may be transformed as well…

When I pause to look beyond the weight of today’s sorrow, there are other beacons of light, added sources of comfort and encouragement…  New friendships are blooming all around me, each special and unique and just in time; they are a glimpse of my future and a challenge to my possibilities at present...  My old friends cajole me to keep fighting and trying, never relenting lest I stop ‘faking ‘til I make it’; they are a bridge between me today and the me of yesterday…  And I think I’ve finally discerned some of what I’m meant to do with my life, a way of bringing something good out of this valley of shadows and sorrow… 

I’m embracing the promise in Psalms 126:5: ‘They that sow in tears shall reap in joy’…  Now if I can muster up some courage to do the next thing…

Wishing you blessings and hope…tg

Tammy will update her blog on Mondays and Thursdays.  -- Jen, site administrator  

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